Jessica's Thought Spot

Christmas...

2009-12-25T00:00:00.002+08:00

Silver Bells...

White Christmas...

Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer...

The colours of Christmas, bright and shiny. When we think of Christmas, we think in colours like white, green, red, gold, silver... When we think of Christmas, we think of gifts and presents. When we think of Christmas, we think of food and fellowship. When we think of Christmas, we think of family and friends...

When I think of Christmas, I think of what cookies to bake, whom shall I give those cookies to, who is on my "good" list and my "not-so-good" list... However, in the midst of all that stress, I was reminded: 'How nice it would be if I got to spend my Christmas with someone special..."

But I am.

See, the beauty of Christmas is finding that Someone who loves me more than life itself. That Someone who would constantly remind me, in big and small ways, that He is thinking of me. That Someone who still cares for and loves me even when I am not worthy to be cared for or loved. Finding that Someone who came to rescue me from the darkness that surrounds me.

I know of the events that came later on and the significance of it. But more importantly, I know that Christmas is a defining moment in itself; because it was then that He came.

He came.

He could choose not to and all the other events would not have happened. But the beauty of Christmas is that He did, despite the circumstances that laid before Him.

He came.

So, I hope the beauty of Christmas fills you not only in magnificent colours but in the knowledge that there is that Someone special who loves you more than anything on this earth. Have a blast spending Christmas time with that Someone special because He is.... Special.

Isn't It Ironic, Doncha Think?

2009-06-24T17:47:00.006+08:00

I finally found some time to blog again... After a difficult month, with life, the loss of three great people (two family, one friend), tonnes and tonnes of work and such, I finally have time to be amused to write something.

Remember, a while back, I wrote about Sean Kingston's song 'Beautiful Girls'? I think you know the words to that song, he goes on and on about how a girl is so beautiful that she had him "suicidal... suicidal" when she dumped him, or something like that. All I can remember was that he repeated the word "suicidal" like 4,356,159,015 times... (OK, I made that number up, but you get the point!)

So, what is it I find ironic? Brings me to this next song, Edwin McCain's 'I'll Be'... He croons about being there for his girl, singing "I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be love's suicide..." except, on the radio, they somehow cut and paste a portion of his song, making him sing "I'll be your crying shoulder, I'll be ~~love's suicide~~ with the trappings of love..." OK, the 'trappings of love'? What the...?! So, let me get this straight; it is OK to repeat the word "suicidal" in a song but not OK to be "love's suicide"? Hmm... Interesting.

Another song I came across was Rihanna's 'Unfaithful', better known as the 'murderer' song (to me, at least!). The bridge of her song goes like this: "Our love, his trust, I might as well take a *bleep* and put it to his head, get it over with..." The bleeped out word can be found in Bon Jovi's 'You Give Love A Bad Name' which goes something like: "Oh, you're a loaded gun..." Figured it out yet?

I find our censorship board really funny. They censor things that they think are "harmful" and then give the green light to others which are actually about the same in meaning... I am still pretty irked with "the trappings of love" since I still hear 'Beautiful Girls' ever so often on the radio. They either need to buck up or standardize everything they do, otherwise, it won't ever make any sense.

In the words of Alanis Morissette, "Isn't it ironic, doncha think?"

You're A Good Man, Ah Kong!

2009-05-26T16:10:00.003+08:00

Goodbyes are never easy, I have a deep-rooted dislike for the departure halls at the airport, but this... is the final act (so to speak).

Reminiscing your every action, every response, every smile, every word does not make it any easier to pass the time. As much as we could prepare ourselves, we never expected it to be so soon and so sudden. From your cheery disposition the night before, we thought things may be looking up.

I dreaded the phone call that came at around half past noon on Monday. My heart sank when I heard the distinct ring tone that I have set for family members and the moment I saw the caller, I could only pray for the best. It was not to be...

I may not have as many memories of you as my other siblings and cousins had, but I cherish the few that I have been privileged to be a part of. I have never seen you get angry or even raise your voice up a notch. It is a trait that most of us still struggle to achieve, I know I do. You were never fussy about things, except maybe your own, but that was your comfort zone - keeping things orderly.

You were always friendly... everyone knew who you were. You cared a lot about our well being, to the extent of being a little "cheong hei" (long-winded) but that's just you. How I wish I could hear you being cheong hei to me again about crossing the road or driving carefully or not being out too late at night or keeping a tab on my belongings wherever I go.

I know I will miss the weekly jabs we give each other when we talk about the English Premier League, you being a Man U supporter and me being a Liverpool fan makes for great banter. Who will I tease when Liverpool beats Man U again next season?

I may not remember riding on your motorbike but I think I may have had a few rides when I was younger. I do remember that you have a knack for gardening. I remember visiting you back at the old house where I would always find you at the front garden, either clearing the dead leaves or trimming the branches or watering the plants.

I wish I could recall more, I wish I had pictures to remember these moments with, but most of all, I wish you were still here cracking jokes with us, laughing till your dentures peek through...

You've lived a long life, Ah Kong, and I hope you are pleased with us because we have definitely been blessed by you. See you again someday.

Diary of The Unfortunate Car Owner...

2009-05-06T14:03:00.013+08:00

Dear Diary,

This entry is not the first but from the looks of it, it may not be the last either. And I'm trying not to curse the fate of my car here, it's just that I can't help but feel sorry, hurt, spiteful and angry - at the world; at idiotic, irresponsible, imbecilic drivers.

First, there was this:

Then, in an unprecedented error on my part, this occurred:

A few months later, this happened:

And today... Fresh off the press, newly minted, hot off the oven; as I was taking a stroll from the office to have lunch, something that was seemingly normal made a turn for the worse when my eyes caught sight of this:

As I made my way closer to the car, my heart sank below the depths of the abyss. (OK, I should turn down the drama...) It was heartbreaking to see yet another scar in the life of my car, which is only 1 year and 4 months old, by the way! Worse still, having to chase down the whodunit. As you can see, the perpetrator (whom I suspected) was still parked next to my car when the photos were taken but to get the owner to fork out repairs for my bumper... remains nonexistent.

I left a note for the driver of the other car, who did contact me, but denied any wrongdoing. There goes my pocket again! Aside from the second incident, all the others were not my fault yet I suffer the greatest. WHY?

Sigh... I am beyond boiling mad... I'm flippin' pissed!

Yours truly,
Unfortunate Car Owner

Human Nature...

2009-05-05T22:45:00.002+08:00

It's funny how different every individual on earth is; their characteristics, their temperament, their reactions and so forth. Lately, it makes me wonder if our character as human beings are deteriorating with each passing day.

Are we less courteous now than we were a few decades ago?

Are we getting more impatient as time passes by?

Are we more "me" centered than ever before?

I question because I find it really funny how people who cut into your lane on the road can somehow stare at you or gesture at you as though you did something wrong when it was actually their fault. Or how someone can go up the no entry ramp only to stare you down because you have to give way to them even though it is your right of way.

When have we become so inconsiderate to other people by double parking on a narrow road, making it almost impossible to drive through? Or cross the street without even looking left and right to check for cars? Is the line between right and wrong completely wiped out that people still think they are right when they are actually wrong?

When have we become so ignorant, selfish, self-righteous? Is it inborn? Human nature?

Human beings are not perfect, but I choose to believe that we can work at getting at least near-perfect. I believe we can work at being more polite with one another. I believe that we can learn to be humble enough to know our mistakes and admit them. I believe that we can be more considerate of other people's needs and not just our own. I believe that we can choose to be better people.

The sad reality is, we choose not to. That's the problem.

So, I am stuck with wondering whether I should go scratch the owner's car for his wrongdoing or not.

Kidding.

First Anniversary...

2009-04-11T23:59:00.000+08:00

Of what, you ask?

Well, I'll give you a hint:

Chomp...

Still not enough? OK, maybe another hint:

Stadium Batu Kawan, maybe? Nah...

Well, maybe that was a random picture. Here, if you still can't guess....

Shanghai Stadium

Indeed, it is the first anniversary of my trip to Shanghai that I won through MixFM to catch Céline Dion live in concert. First time in an outdoor, live setting; as opposed to the closed-in Las Vegas feel.

So, how did I celebrate this first anniversary?

Well, my friend and I drove down to KL for a little showcase, held in Sunway Lagoon....

Heading to the Sunway Lagoon Amphitheater...

... to see a cute little boy...

Cute, eh? Edible too...

Well, not the cupcake, but the person himself... David James Archuleta, runner-up of American Idol Season 7... you know, the battle of the Davids? Yup, he came down to Malaysia for a little showcase to promote his self-titled debut album. I happen to win a showcase pass from his dedicated Malaysian fan club.

Showcase Pass...

At first, we were told that it was JUST a showcase pass. Little did I know, the winners scored a VIP seat.

VIP Tag! Woohoo!

So, what did the VIP seat entail? Well, the VIP B people got to sit right in front, dead-centre... Seriously!

I sat here... Where the arrow is pointing at...

My view...

That was probably a WAY better view than my RM1000 ticket at a concert I went to LAST year (which I shall write about soon!)... And it was free!

And so we waited... and waited... People were streaming in, squeezing with one another (because it was free seating!) and some even sitting on the steps... 3.00pm came... Still nothing. We're glad that we had some music to entertain us, although sitting in front DOES have its drawbacks - blaring speakers.

Oh, did I mention that there was at least 6000 people (that's what the papers printed) in an amphitheater that sits 3000?! Imagine the screams... the shrieks... the shrills... the squeals... It was LOUD and it really pierced my eardrums...

Then, at about 3.15pm, the HitzFM announcers, JJ & Ean, came on the stage to offer some goodies to the people who could answer their VERY simple questions and then we were entertained with 3 opening acts (which I thought was a waste of time, but oh well... impatient me...); a runner-up from Astro Talent Quest - Hou Ren; a second runner-up from One In A Million - Alif Satar and finally Malaysian Idol second season winner - Danell (Daniel) Lee.

And then, of course, the main course & dessert:

Oh yeah... Work the mic, dude!

He came on and sang four songs off his debut album: A Little Too Not Over You; Touch My Hand; Don't Let Go and Crush... There were loads of screaming going on the entire time that I could barely hear him off the speakers, but he sang his butt off live, that's for sure...

And then, he sorta bid the crowd goodbye before giving a couple of encore songs on the keyboard: Vanessa Carlton's "A Thousand Miles" and his version of Robbie Williams' "Angels".

Walking a Thousand Miles on the keys...

He even flubbed on the keyboards, at least once... That was how LIVE the performance was....

After those two songs, he finally bid a fond farewell, "Terima Kasih" and "Malaysia Boleh" were thrown in somewhere along the way and that was it.... Or was it?

Because I was one of the winners and also a member of the fan club, we were asked (by one of the head honchos) to stay back for a little surprise. The surprise was: a group picture session with David Archuleta backstage. My friends and I waited and waited and finally lined up and were brought backstage, only to see a little queue. It turns out, we get INDIVIDUAL pictures and an autograph to boot! And so... ta-daa...

The money shot...

And that was how I celebrated my one-year anniversary of seeing Céline Dion live in Shanghai...

But wait... there WAS still a group photo with the fan club members!

He sat just behind me!

OK, I still have not received the proper group picture, but hey, he sat just behind me in the photograph!

And so, that was my story of how I met David. *sigh*

Half Birthdays...

2009-04-10T10:10:00.004+08:00

I was reminded of half birthdays while driving to work this morning. A family, particularly, a certain wonderful friend of mine came into my thoughts this morning and the next thing you know, the thought hit me. "It's my half birthday!"... I think!

See, this family celebrates their children's half birthdays every year. And the kids look forward to it too. In fact, they are so familiar when their half birthdays are.

So, what's a half birthday? It's basically half a year from your birth date. For example, if your birthday falls on May 1st, your half birthday is November 1st.

Anyway, I think today is my half birthday, so Happy Half Birthday to me... It's another 6 more months to my real birthday, so, yeah! (Stop counting!)

Heidi, thinking of you and missing you loads! Thanks for the memories. *hugs*

Ramblings Of A Fool...

2009-04-06T12:32:00.004+08:00

What hurts the most

Is being treated like a fool

Blinded all this while

Thinking it was mutual

Little did I know

You were already told

And here I was

Thinking every chip of news

Were little nuggets of gold

It wasn't yours to tell

I understood that, you know

But the rubbing in my face

Was quite the bitter pill to swallow

Trustworthiness is a welcomed trait

I respect that, I do

But in all honesty

I felt played

I got fooled

To think that every time I shared

You were probably laughing away

Thinking, "Hah! I already knew that!"

Yet, continued with the charade

The delivery could have been softened

Rather than a slap in the face

You could've either hinted

Or just played it all the way

Then, I may never even know

I guess I could not fathom

How someone so close to me

Could play me for a fool

While others were nice enough

To let me figure out

That they already knew

It wasn't because you were told first

This matter would surface regardless of that

I just did not appreciate

That I got played, that was it

At least, now I know

How it feels like being taken for a ride

It wasn't really fun after all

It stung like a knife

Really, it did...

Justice Served Cold... Brutally Cold...

2009-04-01T10:27:00.002+08:00

I 'fought' for justice and fairness. I 'won' the battle... How come I feel awful about it?

Here's how the night went down:

I was having dinner with my grandparents and aunt at a hawker centre downtown. I ordered Fish Meat Bee Hoon (Noodle) Soup for Grandpa and ordered a side of Chee Cheong Fun per Grandma's request. When I was at the Noodles stall, I ordered fresh fish meat to be cooked in soup, rather than the usual fried fish meat that they put in. I remembered the lady mentioned something about "pek chneow" (pomfret) and I just said, fresh fish meat. Fish meat. I walked back to my table, thinking nothing of it.

The next thing I know, the stall owner's helper served us a bowl of bee hoon soup with the entire fish (bones and all) in pieces. I looked at it and went, "That's not what I ordered. I ordered fish meat, not fish meat with bones in pieces. How is my Grandpa going to eat that?" The helper said, "I don't know. This is what was ordered." I replied, "No, this is not what I ordered."

She went back to her stall and consulted with her lady owner and came back, "This is what you ordered. It is already cooked, we cannot change it. RM6!" I was flabbergasted. I looked at the price list and a normal bowl of fish meat bee hoon soup costs only RM3.50. Now, I'm being charged RM6 for a bowl of soup with the ENTIRE fish that I did not order. Eventually, I paid for it. Gave the helper RM10.

Then, my aunt went back to the stall to get an empty bowl to remove the fish bones and any additional noodles my Grandpa couldn't finish. She came back to our table with an empty bowl and asked, "How much did you give them? Why did they ask me to give them RM2?" Puzzled, I looked at my aunt and said, "I gave the lady RM10, she's supposed to give me back RM4 in change, why should they ask you for another RM2?" I checked my purse, true enough, I had 4 RM10 notes before, now I only have 3. (Prior to that, I had to break my RM50 to pay for my ice cream earlier that evening. Ice cream was RM4.90, I had RM45.10 in change, that means: 4 x RM10, 1 x RM5, with 2 x RM1 notes I previously had in my purse.)

The helper came over and said, "You gave me 4 x RM1 notes, that's why I asked for RM2 because the noodle soup costs RM6." I replied, "I gave you ONE RM10 note, I could not possibly have given you FOUR RM1 notes because I did not even have small change. You are supposed to return me RM4 instead."

The helper vehemently denied any wrongdoing, so, I proceeded to talk to the lady owner instead. I went up to the stall and said, "I paid your helper RM10. I did not get my change back and now my aunt tells me she had to give an additional RM2." The helper then told her lady owner, "She paid me RM4 only. Another guy paid RM5 for his soup, there was no RM10." I replied, "That could not be possible. I had four RM10 notes, now I only have three RM10 notes left (showed them my notes), I gave you RM10 for the soup because I did not have enough small notes for the exact RM6 amount, I don't have enough RM1 notes to even make up RM4! You still haven't given me my change, yet you asked my aunt for extra money."

In the end, the lady begrudgingly took out four RM1 notes and placed it on the table. "There! You can have your change. I know you already did not want the order in the first place." (What the...?! She gave me the WRONG order, I asked for a change, she didn't give me one and now she has the cheek to say that?!)

After that, I stood there still, even though I had my RM4 change, my aunt paid RM2 extra for no reason. I asked for that back too and had to explain again, "In actuality, I paid RM10 and my aunt paid RM2. That means, we gave you RM12 for an RM6 bowl of noodle soup. In that case, you would have to return RM6. You gave me back my RM4 but what about the RM2 my aunt forked out?" She eventually, reluctantly AND begrudgingly took out RM2, again, placed it on the table instead of handing it to me. I took it to return to my aunt and walked back to my table.

I was really unhappy with the service (or lack of it) and the attitude that was shown to my aunt and myself. In fact, I was seated not too far away and because I was facing in their direction, I could see that the lady was still seething and staring at me, making hand gestures and pointing in my direction to the other people she was talking to. As much as I should not be affected by it, but I was. I fought for justice and I fought fair. I do not wish to cheat anyone of their possessions. If it was my mistake, I would own up to it but it was their mistake and they denied every single bit of it. I was not out to get back something that wasn't mine. I was entitled to my change and that was all I wanted. Justice.

But I was so miffed that I lost my appetite for the evening. In fact, after seeing that lady mouthing words and pointing in my direction for the umpteenth time, I was close to wanting revenge, rather than just settling with justice. If my conscience did not stop me, I would have deliberately pushed their ceramic bowl off the table and onto the gravel, breaking it. Revenge.

I did not break their bowl. I left it where it was, on the table. That was not what I set out to do, I only wanted justice, I obtained it, albeit, in a very uncomfortable situation. I was not going to stoop so low as to exact revenge. But the entire episode left such a sour taste in my mouth. In fact, I wondered why I felt awful when I shouldn't be.

Is justice such an awful thing to want?

Donation From A Stranger...

2009-03-18T15:06:00.004+08:00

I should probably consider changing my email address soon. Real soon. Nothing wrong with Yahoo! Mail. I think they've done a great job filtering out all the spam, but sometimes, one or two interesting ones tend to sneak into my Inbox. (Like this and this)

Now, I have just received a nice 'donation' from some stranger from Cote d'Ivoire (Ivory Coast). I've had friends and family members from a few places around the world, but I do not know anyone from the Ivory Coast. Still... as flattered as I am, I think I have enough sense to smell a scam when I read one. *wink*

Donation From Mrs Hadeel Mohammed
Wednesday, March 18, 2009 2:10 AM
From: "hadeel2mohammed@marafiki.com" hadeel2mohammed@marafiki.com
To: hadeel2mohammed@marafiki.com

Donation From Mrs Hadeel Mohammed
N38 Rue Des Martyrs Cocody
Abidjan,Cote d'Ivoire.

Beloved

I am Mrs Hadeel Mohammed from Kuwait. I am married to Mr Mohammed Abbas who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died last year.We were married for nineteen years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days.

Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$3.5million dollars in a Bank here in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire.Presently, this money is still in bank.

Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem. The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a person or organisation that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein. I want this fund to be use for orphanages, widows,schools and propagating the message of love to all mankind.

I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money, I want God to be merciful to me and accept my soul.My husband relatives are selfish,they refuse to distribute to charity organization some amount of money which my late husband gave to them for charity on the second day of his illness,I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.i know that God will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development.With God all things are possible.

As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank here in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire. I will also issue you an authority letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund. I want you to always pray for me. My happiness is that I lived a life worthy of emulation. Please always be prayerful all through your life.Contact me on the this e mail address(hadeel002mohammed@yahoo.com) any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person or organisation for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein.

Hoping to receive your reply.

God bless you
Mrs Hadeel Mohammed.

What do you think?

What A Fantastic Match!

2009-03-17T20:34:00.002+08:00

I am pretty sure last Saturday was a great day for all Liverpool FC fans, the fact that they thrashed Man Utd 4-1 in their own backyard. Frankly speaking, I was as nervous as the next fan before the match kicked off, knowing that Man Utd are out to kill any chance for us to win the league title, rubbed in by the fact that their striker, Wayne Rooney, came out saying he hates Liverpool. Can't blame him, he is an Evertonian. ~~And he is balding prematurely~~.

Nevertheless, Liverpool came out with as much panache as they did against Real Madrid during the midweek and brought the game to ~~Old Toilet~~ Old Trafford. It was amazing to watch, especially when we were down by one goal due to a reckless penalty given by Pepe Reina. Unnecessary.

Collision course...

Then, we got down to business, with Torres giving their defense a torrid time and eventually capitalized on a defensive error by Vidic. 1-1. Game on!

Catch me if you can...

A second penalty was given, this time, to Liverpool, thanks to Evra hacking down Gerrard instead of the ball.

He shoots... He scores!

I don't mind being the camera, though... *wink*

1-2 into half-time. Both teams making the effort, but none scored. Then, Sir Alex Ferguson did the unthinkable - he used all three of his substitutes in one go. Sure, it was risky, but he did show intent. Sadly, he could not have predicted that his team would be a man down with 15 minutes left on the clock. Nemanja Vidic basically tugged and pulled Gerrard to the ground as he was about to run for goal. Professional foul. Red card.

Strike Three - You're Out!

Free kick to Liverpool. Cue Fabio Aurelio. He lines up the free kick, takes it and the ball went into the net leaving Van Der Sar rooted to the spot. 1-3.

Bend it like Aurelio...

With Man Utd down to 10-men and all three substitutions used up, they had to improvise, but being 2 goals down, it was going to be a really difficult task. In the end, they couldn't muster any last minute attempts and with Dossena getting onto the score sheet in injury time, it was dead and buried for Man Utd. 1-4. Full time.

Dink! Goalkeeper rooted again!

To win by 4 goals to 1 was amazing and frankly, unbelievable. We would have taken the game at 1-2 but that Saturday was Liverpool's because everything that could go wrong in a football game went wrong for Man Utd.

To do a double over Man Utd AND Chelsea is an amazing feat. Now, if we can get all three points against Arsenal and Aston Villa too...

Go Reds!

Pictures taken from LiverpoolFC.tv and Getty Images

I'm Rich, Again!

2009-03-16T15:40:00.007+08:00

If only I get paid to debunk every single email scam I have ever received, I might eventually get rich. Right now, I have apparently won £1,000,000. Yes, One Million British Pounds! Well, at least, according to this email:

FILE FOR CLAIMS
Saturday, March 14, 2009 7:31 AM
From: "The Monday Lottery"
To: undisclosed-recipients

You have just been awarded, the sum of £1,000,000.00 GBP in the Monday Lottery 2009 Anniversary Bonanza. For Claims email your details to: mondaylotboard@hotmail.com

Names:............
Address:..............
Country:................
Age:..........
Sex:..............
Phone/cellphone........

Regard
Mrs. Jenifer Fox
Tel: +447031931675,
Online Coordinator,
The Monday Lottery.

Seriously, is it THAT easy to win? Hmm....

Creepy...

2009-03-13T19:05:00.004+08:00

It's bad enough that Sean Kingston's song "Beautiful Girls" is horrible by nature, the fact that he keeps repeating the word "suicidal" throughout every chorus he sings, I think it is worse still when the female colleague seated in front of you is actually singing along with it during working hours, repeating only the word - you guessed it - "suicidal"... Oy!

And that colleague of mine happens to be a mother of a 14-year-old! Technically, she shouldn't even KNOW the song... If my Mom were to be singing along with that song, I think I would have nightmares... Eek!

*cringe*

Slumdog Ordinaire*

2009-03-12T15:33:00.001+08:00

8 Oscars... 7 BAFTAs... 4 Golden Globes... and numerous other awards to boot... That was the hype that got me wanting to watch this movie. Sadly, I think this movie has been over-hyped and overrated. I have to say that the storyline is quite refreshing, albeit based on a real-life game show, but this movie wasn't anything to shout about. I've actually seen better Bollywood movies than this.

Granted, it is a Jolly-Holly-Bollywood (English director, American distributor, Indian writer) movie, something different than the usual rat pack of movies the Academy Award members have been accustomed to but apart from highlighting the slums of India, which is a reality, I personally feel that it is hardly any different from the old Hindi movies I grew up with. In fact, there was not even a scene of couples playing hide-and-seek with tree branches or rolling down a small hill of freshly cut grass or splashing around at the beach. (Okay, I'm asking for too much here...)

Nevertheless, it was interesting to see how the current scenes - him being on "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" - intertwined with flashbacks of the protagonist's life, in this case, Jamal Malik, that enabled him to answer the increasingly difficult questions in the game show, eventually winning him the top prize money (and the girl, of course!).

But overall, I still feel the movie lacked something. I just can't seem to put a finger on it, but it's just not all it is hyped up to be. It still felt like an ordinary Bollywood film to me, except, they spoke more English throughout the show than they did in Hindi. Oh, they eventually DID dance, at the end of the movie, but it was rather comical seeing them dance because the main guy (Dev Patel) looked awkward dancing. I had a good chuckle, though.

What did you think of the movie?

*Ordinaire means ordinary in French

And We're Off!

2009-03-06T11:50:00.005+08:00

American Idol Season 8 has finally started with its Top 12, no wait, Top 13 finalists after last night's (this morning Malaysian time) Wild Card group performance. Yes, technically, I still have yet to watch the show itself, as it only airs tonight, but I couldn't wait and Yahoo! News was jumping at me to read the article, so I did...

Now I know who the finalists are this season, and I have to say, it is a pretty disappointing group. There are a few standouts, don't get me wrong, but I felt that a few pretty good contenders slipped through the cracks and didn't make it through.

Oh well, it is up to America now (as it has always been) and I hope they make the right decisions.

If Winning Was So Easy...

2009-03-06T00:14:00.007+08:00

I opened my email this morning, and guess what?! I'm rich! Here, I've got the email to prove it:

Hyundai Funds Grant

Thursday, March 5, 2009 11:37 AM

From:"Hyundai Motor Company"

To:undisclosed-recipients

You have been awarded (850,000.00 Pounds) from Hyundai Company. (CONTACT PROJECT MANAGER) Name: Mr Anderson Williams. Phone # : +447031935671 or +447024086795. E-mail:(hyundacars08@hotmail.com). Send your NAME, COUNTRY, CITY, AGE, OCCUPATION, POSITION, HOME PHONE, MOBILE PHONE NUMBER, EMAIL ADDRESS. To Mr. Anderson Williams for Claims.

Uhm... I don't even own a Hyundai. I drive a very modest local car. And I mean, modest... Well, not as modest as the new Tata Nano, that's bare minimum...

Well, I'm gonna go claim my money now...

Wishful thinking...

I Got Me A Fever...

2009-03-05T14:51:00.007+08:00

Yup, the viral flu caught up with me and now I have a fever... I now have 5 different types of pills to swallow, along with a side of Vitamin C to boot (and they're not even the chewable kind!)...

Pills, pills, pills...

I have to admit, though, I'm probably one of the worst pill popping junkie you would ever come across, in the event I decide to switch 'hobbies'... The sole reason why? I cannot swallow pills for the life of me... I have had a phobia of swallowing pills since I was very young. Heck, if they would only continue with liquid medication for adults, I might just stick to that instead.

Most people do not like to fall sick because they do not like the suffering. For me, I just don't like the pills that come with it. I like the rest/sleep I get when I fall sick. Helps me to get out of 'jail' (i.e. work, commitments) free...

Sadly, I'm not out of 'jail' this time... I'm still at work... Sigh...

Interesting Watch

2009-03-03T10:34:00.007+08:00

Disclaimer: This is, by no means, a shameless plug or advertisement...

But it still is... Thanks to my sister, I now have a new show to follow (apart from the CSI franchise and Grey's Anatomy, that is!)

'Lie to Me' is a new series on Fox starring Tim Roth and Kelli Williams (of 'The Practice') about an expert on body language and facial expressions who is capable of detecting deception in people. It is quite an interesting TV series, the fact that it borders on science and crime solving, something along the lines of CSI.

I personally am not sure if this series will last long, mainly because it is centered on a group of people who are able to detect emotions based on body language and facial expressions of the people they meet and interrogate. The storylines have been interesting thus far. It is only in its fifth episode in the States and I am not too far behind... *wink*

If you have always been fascinated by the art of reading people, this is the show to watch. I DO wonder, though, if it will make me more skeptical of people. Hmm...

I'm Blue (I Would Beat Up A Guy!)...

2009-03-02T15:01:00.010+08:00

No, not really going to beat up a guy... Almost, maybe... but that's another story altogether.

I've decided to give up on the second half of my 2008 recap because I got too swamped with life to even have time to sit down and regroup my thoughts.

Feeling a little blue lately...

Maybe because someone's been missing in my life for the past month and 5 more months ahead...

Or maybe because my 1-year-old baby of a car got knocked by an errant (well, idiotic would be a harsher word) driver and he still hasn't forked out the money for the repairs of my side view mirror (and by the looks of it, it doesn't seem like he will)...

Hmm...

Then again, I feel thankful that I have won a few contests here and there... Tiny ones, but the cash prizes do help. (especially for the aforementioned repairs!)

I'm also feeling a little bit more adventurous in the kitchen these days. Feeling like I want to cook up a storm but not quite sure I am capable of cleaning up the mess in the aftermath. Yikes!

Wishful thinking, I guess...

Saying Goodbye...

2008-12-31T22:53:00.003+08:00

It is that time of the year again. Time to say goodbye. Today is officially the last day of 2008. A few hours from now, the calendar will go back to the first day of the first month of a new year... 2009.

I guess, it is also time to reminisce on what 2008 has been for me... A time to look back on the highs and the lows of 2008.

January

What a way to start the new year by trading in the old car for a new one...

Perodua Viva, but in Pearl Jade...

Yes, I got myself a car... And with the car, I got myself into debt with the bank for 7 years. So, technically, you're not "rich" when you can afford a car... It just means, you can afford to owe the bank for a number of years. Whoopee!

February

Well, February was a rather quiet month except for Chinese New Year... Had a good time meeting up with family and friends, and picking up some ang pows (red packets) along the way. Now, THAT's what I call rich! Muahahaha....

March

The month my sister and my brother-in-law assumed position at Cosway, Queensbay Mall. It was also the month where I picked up my long-awaited digital camera, the Canon Ixus 860is. This decision was actually brought forward due to the fact that the camera will come VERY handy in the following month...

Not a good shot, but a shot nonetheless...

Capturing magical moments... Okay, gotta stop with the cheesy quotes...

April

Oh boy, was I excited about this month or what! My job review was up this month. It went pretty OK, except for a few comments which I felt was rather unfair, but oh well, just have to suck it in and improve, I guess... Not to fret, though, the best days of my entire year was about to come... The long awaited LIVE concert of Céline Dion, in not one but TWO cities... Shanghai, China and Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

It was definitely an experience of a lifetime. Sure, I have seen her before in Las Vegas, but that was a different show altogether.

I practically flew all night to get to Céline, in Shanghai, that is...

Boating through Huangpu River

Sampling the famous Xiao Long Bao

The long-awaited concert. Lousy seats, though.

And then, of course, my once-in-a-lifetime chance of meeting Céline face-to-face. I even got a hug!

OK, I cropped the picture, but still, it's REAL!

May

This was a month that had both a union and a farewell. It was the month of Kevin and Sharon's wedding but also, it was the month we had to say "See ya!" to the Spoelmans for half the year.

Mr. & Mrs. Han

If you squint hard enough, you could actually see Rachel crying!

It was also the month of "Two all-beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun"

June

Can't recall much of June... maybe because by the end of May, most of us were quite down... But I enjoyed spending time with my cousin sister and family as well as celebrated a couple of birthdays and hanging out with cute little boys...

Birthday celebration #1

Birthday celebration #2: Yes, that IS Suku... without the facial hair. Unbelievable? Believe it! =P

I told you they were cute...

Well, that's the first half of my 2008. Not sure if I'll have the time to write the second part of this post, but I'll give it a try...

December Mumblings...

2008-12-30T00:13:00.000+08:00

Let's see... I haven't posted anything since November. Time to write something...

Well, I've been busy baking sugar cookies (some call it butter cookies... to-MAY-to, to-MAH-to) and brownie cupcakes and packing them into nice little plastic bags (yes, I am not environmentally friendly, apparently...) as Christmas goodies for my friends.

Other than that, I'm back to work since my holiday plans were somewhat dashed by last minute decisions. Oh well, life is like that.

Credit Cards: Boon Or Bane?

2008-11-18T00:35:00.004+08:00

Ka-ching! I just made an online purchase a few minutes back for a DVD that a friend highlighted to me a day or two ago. Of course, it will cost me a bomb when the exchange rates hit, but the liberation of pressing that "confirm order" button is something to behold. I remember when I was younger, trying to buy something off the internet and having to ~~beg~~ ask my Mom for permission, which was usually turned down, it never felt quite right.

Now, I have a credit card to call my own. Frankly speaking, I hardly ever use it. I do not feel the need to owe first, pay later. I am really not into debt, to be honest. I just use the credit card to pay off my life insurance monthly premium, my ~~lousy~~ cable company bill, my internet bill and... ah, yes, petrol. I don't feel the need to be carrying lump sums of money to just pay for a full tank of gas or line up at the bill payment counter on a working day to pay off my bills.

But, of course, I need to be careful about spending too much on online transactions/purchases. It gets really easy with credit cards these days... Gotta think twice or three times before hitting that "confirm order" button.

Argh, the temptation!

I Wish...

2008-11-14T23:52:00.001+08:00

I wish those days could come back once more
Why did those days ever have to go
'Cos I love them so...

Chimes Stevie Wonder, in his song, "I Wish"... After working 12-hour work days for the past 3 days, and looking at the national calendar, today is the last day of regular school - which means, the holidays start tomorrow! How I wish I was back in schooling days, looking forward to the year-end break which lasts about a month and a half.

I remember the late nights, the sleep ins, the watch-TV-all-day, the afternoon naps... It can get boring and monotonous within the first week of holiday, but it was still fun. I wish I could turn back time because I would love a month-long break right now. A break with nothing to worry about, loads of sleep and TV watching...

I wish....

Super Stressed!

2008-11-13T22:48:00.002+08:00

I haven't had much time to update this blog, not that I have MUCH to write about, but I feel like ranting today. I have worked two 12-hour days in a row and I am expected to do more 12-hour days in the days to come. Why? Because my company is in a huge transition mode and the people most hit by that transition are the ones working in my department. We have to do all the leg work, hand work, head work... basically, ALL work.

I'm tired of DOS like windows, green alphabets and digits, Excel files, 10pm dinners... Yes, because of this overload of work, I have had to have my dinners around 10pm. I had to miss my High School Musical 3 appointment and I think I have more to miss out on because of work.

I personally feel I am not obligated to work past my working hours. I am only obligated to finish my work and finish well, I am a believer in that, but the workload will take days to finish because regular working hours just doesn't cut it.

Sigh... I look forward to better days, but now, I am stuck in the bleak. Bleh!

Stressed Out...

2008-11-05T23:55:00.003+08:00

Let's see, where do I start? Well, the only proper update I can give is that I am totally stressed out. Absolutely and completely stressed out. In these hard times, people are stressed out because they are worried for their jobs and their income - that is perfectly normal. For me, I can say, for now, that my job is safe. However, due to a major shake-up, my company is bearing the brunt of all the workload.

People say, it's good that you have work to do, that means you still have a job. Right now, I have work to do, all right, but TOO much! Imagine doing 10 - 15 people's workload with only 5 employees in that department to handle it. That ought to drive ANYONE crazy!

I have never felt so stressed out before and for the first time this week, I have really struggled to drag myself out of bed to go to work, not knowing what news might hit us next and how it will impact what we are doing right now.

Frankly speaking, I am scared AND stressed. Not a good combination at all.

Sigh...

I Didn't Know That!

2008-11-01T21:30:00.003+08:00

I learned something new today while listening to a new Christmas album. As I was researching for the lyrics of "O Holy Night" (because this singer's version was a bit different from the usual versions), I found out that this song was originally French!

Oui! It's called "Minuit Chrétiens / Cantique de Noël", a traditional French Christmas Carol. Wikipedia has a short article on it and the lyrics (with translation) is as follows.

Minuits, chrétiens / Cantique de Noël:

Minuit, chrétiens, c'est l'heure solennelle,

Où l'Homme-Dieu descendit jusqu'à nous

Pour effacer la tache originelle

Et de Son Père arrêter le courroux.

Le monde entier tressaille d'espérance

En cette nuit qui lui donne un Sauveur.

Peuple à genoux, attends ta délivrance.

Noël, Noël, voici le Rédempteur,

Noël, Noël, voici le Rédempteur!

De notre foi que la lumière ardente

Nous guide tous au berceau de l'Enfant,

Comme autrefois une étoile brillante

Y conduisit les chefs de l'Orient.

Le Roi des rois naît dans une humble crèche:

Puissants du jour, fiers de votre grandeur,

A votre orgueil, c'est de là que Dieu prêche.

Courbez vos fronts devant le Rédempteur.

Le Rédempteur a brisé toute entrave:

La terre est libre, et le ciel est ouvert.

Il voit un frère où n'était qu'un esclave,

L'amour unit ceux qu'enchaînait le fer.

Qui Lui dira notre reconnaissance,

C'est pour nous tous qu'Il naît, qu'Il souffre et meurt.

Peuple debout! Chante ta délivrance,

Noël, Noël, chantons le Rédempteur,

Noël, Noël, chantons le Rédempteur!

English Translation of Minuits, chrétiens / Cantique de Noël: (N.b. the English version of 'O Holy Night' is not a direct translation of the French.)

Midnight, Christians it's the solemn hour

When God as Man descended unto us

To erase the original stain (sin)

And end the wrath of His Father.

The entire world trembles with expectation

In this night that gives to us a Savior.

Fall on your knees, await your deliverance.

Noel, Noel, here is the Redeemer,

Noel, Noel, here is the Redeemer!

The redeemer has broken every shackle

The earth is free, and heaven is open.

He sees a brother where there was once only a slave

Those who had been chained together by iron, love now unites.

Who will tell Him of our gratitude

It is for every one of us that He was born, suffered and died.

Stand on your feet, sing of your deliverance.

Noel, Noel, sing of the Redeemer,

Noel, Noel, sing of the Redeemer!

Yes, I suspect the translation of the second verse is missing and I can't seem to find it anywhere, but it's beautiful in French anyways. Anyone care to translate?

If Only...

2008-10-29T00:37:00.002+08:00

If only I could turn back time... Sigh...

I got my car back today, but it just doesn't feel the same anymore. I've done my car wrong, and nothing, not even a great fix-up, will make it new again. It will never be the same again...

I wish I could go back in time, and retrace my steps and do it all over again... I wish I could avoid the crash...

It was my fault... and now, I'm paying for it.

Sigh...

Have You Seen Stupid?

2008-10-28T00:16:00.004+08:00

Just when you thought you were extra careful, extra cautious... stupidity happens.

Yes, a lapse of judgment has cost me massive heartache and also pocket-ache/bank account-ache, headache, etc...

As I was carefully backing out from my parking space yesterday, trying to avoid another car that was awkwardly parked close to me, I did not realize a beam/pole was right behind me (my sensor did not catch it either). And the expression, "You'll know when to stop when you hear a bang" really came to pass.

Bang!

Shattered..

Point of impact...

Broken...

Sigh... words cannot express how I feel right now. Things like this do happen to the best of us, as one friend tried to empathize with me, but it cannot take away this feeling of how stupid this incident really is. Firstly, it should not have happened. Period! Secondly, it's a stupid mistake that will now cost me more than I can earn back within a month. Thirdly... there is no thirdly... it's just stupid!

ARGH! *hits her head against the brick wall*

Birthday Recap - Part 2

2008-10-27T23:41:00.007+08:00

Picking up where I left of... Ahh yes, Friday, my birthday itself. I didn't do much because I did not expect anything as there was nothing planned on that day except work and home group. Little did I know, a bunch of sneaky little home groupies decided to surprise me with a birthday cake. What a sweet bunch of sneaky home groupies. hehe...

Maiming the cake... Hai-yah!

I also received a nice little bundle of goodies from my dearest friend which contained delectable goodies and then some... *wink*

Goodies...

When I got home, a couple of red packets were waiting for me too, from within my family. Ka-ching!

Money, money, money...

On Saturday, I was treated to a very nice buffet lunch at E&O Hotel. We dined at Sarkies Corner. It was unusually packed that day, but nonetheless, the experience and the food was great. The company was great too. I had a wonderful time and am blessed that I got to experience "fine dining".

This way, please...

Japanese food... Yum!

Fresh from the grill...

Chocolate fountain! Yippee!

On Sunday, a little teddy bear was gifted into my hands. It was white and fluffy and it came with a beautiful name - Aurora. That was a nice gift from a dear friend.

Aurora - My new friend...

Then, I was whisked away by another friend for lunch at - Chili's! Yummy! I enjoyed my meal thoroughly and I even had two desserts to boot; one from Chili's and another from Big Apple Donuts. Talk about being well-fed. *burp*

Chili's...

A week later, I received another gift from another dear friend. Though belated, but I loved the gift nonetheless. It was simple yet useful.

Simple yet lovely gift...

All in all, I have to say that this year's celebration was way over what I could ever imagine. It was truly a great blessing from God and the people He put in my life. I am thankful for each one of them. My life is richer with them in it. I would not trade them for the world. Really.

Birthday Recap... Part 1

2008-10-19T02:15:00.001+08:00

Now that I finally have enough time to sit down and write and upload the pictures from my camera to the computer, I can finally recap on a wonderful week of birthday celebrations I had.

It all started (unofficially) on Tuesday, 7th October, while hanging out at a friend's house for our Tuesday night weekly gathering. Someone will usually pick a movie or a channel to watch and on that day, I was given the controls to the remote to choose whatever I wanted to watch since it was my "birthday week". I chose to watch CSI:NY...

With great power comes great responsibility. Muahahaha...

Then came Wednesday. I was meeting up another friend to watch 'Eagle Eye' and by the time we got to the popcorn line, I was told that the movie was on her, along with popcorn, drinks and a hotdog dinner. It was a birthday treat for me from her. What a lovely surprise... After the movie, she bought me my White Chocolate Dream drink from Coffee Bean too. What an evening of fun and food. Yum!

Tickets! Get your tickets!

On the eve of my birthday, my extended family took me out for a nice dinner at TGIFriday's. It was my relative's birthday that day followed by my birthday the next day, so, sometimes we celebrate together. I had the New York Strip in Wild Mushroom Butter (if I remember that correctly) and a side of cheese mashed potatoes. The portion was OK but I was actually hoping for some greens. Not too much to ask for, right?

TGIFriday's

New York Strip with Wild Mushroom Butter and Mashed Potatoes, steak "done-ness" - medium well

Then, when we mentioned to the staff at TGIF's that it was our birthdays, we were given a couple of slices of chocolate cake and some celebratory songs. We had to stand on chairs for the cake, but, it was a pretty fun occasion.

Chocolate cake... Yum!

The cake was quite springy, I have to say, but it was still pretty good. We enjoyed ourselves there. But apparently, the celebrations did not stop there. Coming up next is Part 2 of the Birthday Recap post. Right now, I need to head to bed.

What A Week!

2008-10-10T23:58:00.002+08:00

I officially turned a year older today... And all I can say is, "WOW!". Why? Because my birthday celebration wasn't just a day, it is pretty much the whole week! As I am typing this, I am still not done with the celebrations, and all these were not planned out by me. It is amazing! God is amazing! His people are amazing!

I'll write more when the celebrations end, but as for now, I am heading to dreamland as I will be having my first dining experience at the E&O hotel tomorrow. Can't wait!

Another Year...

2008-10-09T07:36:00.002+08:00

It's gonna be another 1 year added to my age tally tomorrow... Not sure if I'm looking forward to it that much, but I guess, it means another year has gone by and I've survived it. I realized that the older I get, the less I'm expecting out of the "big day"... I used to want and like big parties or surprise parties, those are really nice, but I'm not expecting it as much. Either that or I'm in denial...

Anyhow, I have to get through today first to make it to tomorrow.

Holiday!

2008-09-30T23:21:00.002+08:00

Yay! Two days off from work! Now, what should I do? What should I do? Ahh... yes! SLEEP!!!

Oh well, nothing to blog about as I have yet to upload a couple of pictures I took from this morning's wet and pretty wild day. I saw a very swollen river, a couple of motorboats (on land!!) waiting to get into the waist-deep waters, flooded roads at almost every corner I took. Talk about frantic situations.

I feel bad for the residents who have to endure these floods at every monsoon season. Sigh...

Wax On, Wax Off

2008-09-17T18:31:00.002+08:00

That's what Mr. Miyagi said to Daniel LaRusso in The Karate Kid.

And so, that was what I did on an off day I had today - getting my car washed and its first polish & wax. It took me three hours to get it done. I almost wanted to give up because it was so tiring and my arms were basically flailing away due to over use.

Also, I realized that perfectionism and car washing do not go well together. It's as simple as that. Otherwise, it might take me a day to get the car really, really clean and really, really shiny.

I think I'll just go back to my regular RM10 car wash and vacuum services and consider getting someone else to do the waxing and polishing. I know it was not that easy but I did not expect it to be so tough.

For now, I am going to wax off and rest my arms.

Lelong*... Original Microsoft Software For Sale!

2008-09-16T00:16:00.001+08:00

Yes, I am trying to sell off the software I just received a few days ago. I won it during one of those "So You Think You Can Spell" contests held by MixFM. I personally think I could spell. Either that or the other person was just a slightly not-so-good speller. He actually fumbled, and that was a no-no for that game. Rules, you know...

So, anyway, here I am, blessed (or in my words, stuck) with this RM2499 (retail price at that time) software that I have no use for, at least, not when my computer system is not up to it. Why use something your computer cannot support, right?

Anyone interested in purchasing this very original, authentic, unused, mint condition, licensed Microsoft Office Ultimate 2007 software? Price is negotiable.

Am I even allowed to sell on blogger? Hmm...

Here are some pictures I took and the specs needed to run the software (fun!):

The front... very nicely packaged, I'd have to say!

One side of it...

The back, it tells you what programmes it carries...

The nitty-gritty! System Requirements...

System Requirements... continued...

System Requirements... the end!

*p.s. "Lelong" means "auction" in Malay

Céline Dion - Taking Chances Live in Shanghai

2008-09-15T22:22:00.001+08:00

Day 2 in Shanghai started relatively late. We slept in because we had no plans for the day except to get to the Shanghai Stadium on time.

We woke up early for breakfast and then went back to bed shortly after. Too lazy, I guess.

Then, we decided to hunt for the famous Shanghai "Xiao Long Bao", which, to me, translates to "Little Dragon Bao". We had earlier asked some of the staff serving breakfast on where to find this elusive yet famous bao. They came to a conclusion that we had to go to a famous temple nearby to sample the bao. We weren't really keen on that.

So, we decided to try our luck by venturing out and asking the local taxi guy who was waiting at the hotel porch. He told us that the bao at the temple is not all that great. If we wanted something authentic, we would have to travel over one hour away. He said he could take us there and back for a fee. We haggled for a lower fee and clinched the deal. So, off we went to this 'shop' to sample the "Xiao Long Bao". Yum!

The entrance

'Xiao Long Bao' - the one on the right is with the normal meat filling, the one on the left is with meat & prawn filling

Close-up look

A burst of soup in each bite

After the 'Xiao Long Bao' adventure, we headed back to the heart of town, to the Shanghai Stadium to get ready for the concert.

Oh hey! Ikea!

The place was still rather empty when we got to the stadium. Some of the workers were already setting up posts at the different entrances, especially for special ticket pick-up counters.

Approaching the stadium!

The stadium itself...

We were pretty early, like a couple of hours early, maybe. So, we waited and waited. Then, the crowds slowly grew bit-by-bit. There were peddlers selling everything from glowsticks to binoculars to resized posters to CDs and much more. I settled for a pair of cheap binoculars. Again, I haggled like nobody's business. Got it for a steal... Or maybe they ended up "stealing" from me for a pair of binoculars that is not your really good, top class one. Either way, I still thought it was a great bargain!

The gates finally opened and we rushed in, well, actually, we didn't. We just walked to our designated stadium gate and saw them opening up a mini stall for merchandise. I got myself the tourbook for slightly cheaper than the regular US price. This did not involve any haggling, the price was already set relatively lower, RMB200. (Retail US price was around USD20 - 25). We were on the second floor (or was it third?), on the right side of the stadium. We were FAR away. (Far is an understatement here!)

Up and up we went!

See? Far, eh?

We chatted up with a couple of Malaysians (imagine that!) working in Shanghai. They were very nice. Then, the show started. Oh, forgot to mention the weather: FREEZING! Well, it wasn't very cold, but the strong winds didn't help us much since it was still spring time there. I could barely feel my fingers, but I held on to my camera, taking pictures and videos as the concert went along.

The screen was a big help...

She drove all night, all right... Yeah!

So far away...

Au revoir, ma cherie! Till we meet again in Kuala Lumpur, Malaisie!

The concert went on for about an hour and 15 minutes, and then, it was all over. Sigh... If it wasn't for the cold weather, I thought we were just getting started! After leaving the stadium, we tried out some meat-on-a-stick food by a roadside peddler. Interesting was the word. Mom and I ventured out to catch a taxi and we did not get one until about an hour later. Talk about a LONG day. We got back to the hotel around 11+pm, exhausted but a little bit happy, at least, for me.

And so, that was Day 2 in Shanghai.

Dinged! - Part 2

2008-09-15T21:25:00.001+08:00

No, I did not get into another 'accident'... Just a short update on the previous post.

The grandma (or Ah Mah) is still on the road!! On her motorbike, newly fixed, I might add. I just spotted her yesterday after coming home from church, as I left the BHP station after I pumped my tyres. I don't know if she recognized me because she looked at my direction for a bit but I sure did recognize her! AHH! She's still on the road! She's alive and well, praise God, but still, she is still riding her motorbike after that incident. Ishk!

Gotta stay away from that Ah Mah on that PCK bike. Yes, licence plate says PCK. Not going to spill the numbers, even though I can remember it. Wished I had taken a picture, though. Would have been funny.

AHH! Grandma on the prowl again. Eek!

OK, I'm done rambling.

Dinged!

2008-09-08T23:09:00.007+08:00

Nope, it's not the sound of someone ringing the doorbell.

Imagine this - a working day like every other working day, driving the same route, nothing out of the ordinary to note until suddenly - wham! A grandma on a motorbike rams onto the back end of your 7-month-old car. How would that feel? It hurt. It hurt real bad. Heart and pocket. Sigh... Victim of an innocent minor 'crash'...

Let the pictures do the talking:

Looked like someone 'signed' on the bumper

Another look at the scratch

"Unseen" damage... cracked bumper

Bent steel rod holding the bumper

A scratch when the car was 5 days old - Thought I'd put that in for 'fun'

In the end, the bumper was fixed... RM200 flew right out of the pocket and as much as the car looks like it used to, it does not really feel the same. It squeaks now and then. Sigh...

A 'Painful' Read...

2008-08-26T23:56:00.009+08:00

Tuesday August 26, 2008 MYT 8:16:36 PM

‘Blackouts’ for users of pirated Windows

By STEVEN PATRICK

PETALING JAYA: Starting Wednesday, users with pirated copies of Microsoft Corp's Windows XP Professional operating system (OS) on machines that are Internet-capable could find their computer displays going black and with no screen icons visible.

There are 8.6 million users of Win XP Pro in Malaysia and about three million are expected to suffer the “blackouts,” according to Microsoft Malaysia.

To continue working, the user would need to reset the machine’s desktop background. Everything will return to normal. But when 60 minutes are up, the black screen will reappear and the user must go through the whole process again.

This will keep happening until the user licenses the copy of Win XP Pro on the machine by going to a Microsoft reseller or getting a licence online at the www.microsoft.com/malaysia/genuine. Each licence costs RM580.

This initiative is part of Microsoft’s antipiracy campaign, dubbed Windows Genuine Advantage (WGA), aimed at educating users on the benefits of using genuine software, K.T. Ng, Microsoft Malaysia’s director of client business group, told The Star on Tuesday.

Win XP Professional was chosen for the antipiracy blitz because it is the most pirated version of Microsoft’s Win XP operating system. The other version is Windows XP Home, which is for home users.

This is the second time that Microsoft is needling users of pirated copies of its operating system to go legitimate. Two years ago, it sprang its WGA initiative on local users of Win XP Pro and Win XP Home.

That time, a pop-up message showed up whenever the PC with a pirated Windows OS was switched on, with the intention of shaming business and home users into getting legitimate copies. The message said “This copy of Windows is not genuine.”

It was quite successful. At that time, there were about 5.1 million pirated copies of Windows XP Pro and after the exercise, about two million of the copies were validated, said Microsoft Malaysia.

“We are encouraged by that response,” said Ng. "So this time, we have escalated the penalty to a black screen that reappears every hour until the user validates his or her copy of Win XP Pro.”

Datuk Badlisham Ghazali, chief executive officer of Multimedia Development Corporation (MDeC), lauded the WGA campaign.

MDeC is caretaker of the country’s MSC Malaysia initiative, which is working to build up the nation’s knowledge economy.

“MDeC respects the rights of companies to protect their intellectual property. It’s a reminder that software piracy doesn’t pay, especially when Malaysians are themselves putting a lot of effort into creating original software,” he said.

Not clear

Several users and industry pundits that The Star spoke to believe Microsoft is using its WGA campaign to herd business users into upgrading to its newest operating system, Windows Vista, which hasn’t garnered interest among companies because of its higher hardware requirements.

“Microsoft has stopped selling Win XP in the market, so you have to wonder why it is spending time and money to take down users of pirated copies of this OS,” said a PC user, who asked for anonymity. “Why isn’t it also targeting users who have pirated copies of Windows Vista?”

“So if I’m using a pirated copy of Vista at this time, I won’t be hassled? Got to wonder about that.”

Ng replied that the concern now is XP Pro, which is widely pirated. “Vista isn’t pirated as much. WGA is continuous and should there be a Vista piracy problem, we will address it down the road,” he said.

theStar Online

Ouch! Fair enough, a business is a business and whatever we use, there should be a proper fee to it, but RM580 is not even the least bit within the reasonable range of price to pay for people who cannot afford licensed products! Bad enough that they have to feel the pinch of the fuel increase (and all other price increment), but that is a tough fee to fork out even though it may be a one-off fee that could probably last for a couple of years.

Piracy is a problem, no doubt, but there has to be a root cause for that. Who on earth could afford a licensed software that costs RM2499 - Microsoft Office Ultimate 2007 (for example), when you could get it off the shelves of a computer shop for RM5?! Or better yet, download it off from the internet for zero cost?! Clearly, someone is milking the very last sen from every layman they can get their hands on and the question is - Who will suffer at the end of the day? The ordinary layman, of course.

Oh well, my 60 minutes is almost up. Looks like I better log off from the internet before the doomed 'blackout' screen appears. Ishk!

Passion World Tour: Kuala Lumpur

2008-08-06T00:39:00.013+08:00

I might as well strike while the iron is still hot. Passion: Kuala Lumpur was an amazing experience. The worship was superb, the message was simple yet effective but most of all, God's presence was, in Chris Tomlin's word - indescribable!

The intro video, for those who wanted to go but couldn't...

Editor's note: The beginning is a bit long, but stay on till the end. It's worth it. The original footage is clearer, but due to size limitations, this is the best quality I can get on the blog.

The X-Files: I Want To Believe

2008-07-31T00:20:00.004+08:00

I can't believe my eyes, Mulder and Scully are back! Six years after the series ended and ten years after the first X-Files movie (Fight The Future)... indeed, it has been a long time. Watching The X-Files: I Want To Believe was surreal to me, having not seen Mulder and Scully on a weekly basis for the past six years. Seeing how their relationship grew from when the series ended back in 2002 was believable yet unreal at the same time. I am, and always will be, an 'X-Phile' (it's a nickname for X-Files fans, in case you were wondering) and a semi-'shipper' (technically means, a supporter of a Mulder and Scully relationship beyond being FBI partners) but the last scene in this movie left me feeling a bit weird. I don't know.

Anyway, I was pretty pleased with the movie, although, it can be a bit draggy at times. It is set apart from the whole 'mytharc' (a term for extraterrestrials / government conspiracy theory) theme and a bit more on the 'monsters-of-the-week' theme, though there wasn't really a monster here! I was a bit bummed that someone had to die in the middle of it. What the... I was not too happy with that!

Overall, this movie brings back great memories of watching The X-Files in my old living room, occasionally not being able to sleep at night when a particularly haunting episode was shown and how my 'passion' for forensic science started. Ahh, good 'ol memories.

Scalpel, anyone?

A Day in the Rain...

2008-07-22T23:43:00.002+08:00

There's something different about playing in the rain... Granted, things may get a little slippery here and there, but it definitely beats having the sun beating on you every minute of the game, at least, that's how I see it.

I have not played in the rain since... frankly, I don't even remember when. But I had the "privilege" of playing football in the rain last Sunday with a few kids (if you can even call them kids anymore!) from the Rifle Range blocks.

We were running on a drenched basketball court, certain parts filled with little puddles of water but it was a pretty entertaining game. Our team (the FPBC players) lost to the Rifle Range boys but it was quite a fun game overall. I think, the best part was that they waited for us to play with them, and even in the rain, we enjoyed ourselves.

I guess, sometimes, instead of soaking up the sun, we should just let go and soak up the rain...

Boring Weekends

2008-07-13T00:05:00.003+08:00

Sigh... football season is still a month away. My weekends are currently lacking in the football 'watching' department. I have to say, though, that the current Frank Lampard and Cristiano Ronaldo saga is keeping me entertained at the moment. These are deals that are just waiting to happen; Frank Lampard misses old coach and is being offered to reunite with Jose Mourinho at Inter Milan and Cristiano Ronaldo is having the prospect of playing for Real Madrid, supposedly the best club in the world, and being paid a ridiculous sum of money to do it, dangling in front of him. This beats reading all the nonsensical political hoo-hahs plastered in our newspapers daily.

And to think dramas only come from TVB Hong Kong...

Oops!

2008-06-28T23:18:00.001+08:00

Had a very funny and a bit embarrassing moment earlier. I was at eGate with my two aunts earlier this evening and after some drinks, we were heading back to our cars when I saw that the driver side of my car was blocked by a Kelisa that was stupidly parked so close to my car (not even a six-inch Subway sandwich could fit!) that it was completely impossible to get into my car except through the passenger side.

I was rather annoyed and was remarking what an idiot this guy is, parking the car so close to mine that I couldn't get into it. I remember telling my aunts, "What an idiot!" And then, suddenly, a couple standing next to us, who were already busy talking earlier on, stopped and looked at us and sheepishly asked, "Oh, that's your car?" The guy proceeded to move his car while my aunts thanked the lady standing there.

I didn't realize that the "idiot" was standing right beside us. D'oh!

Anyway, I nodded to the lady and proceeded to drive off, feeling rather annoyed still, but also a bit embarrassed. What a humbling lesson to watch my tongue... Idiot!

Time's A Changin'

2008-06-21T00:31:00.001+08:00

For every storybook, there is a beginning, a middle and an end. The same goes for every season in life - there is a start, and then, there is a finish. I am wondering if my current season in life is coming to a close.

I have not felt so "out of place" in a while now, and I don't know if this is driven by the thoughts inside my head or that it is a tug from the heart to move on. I feel rather disconnected lately and I hope this is not stemming from an incident that, unfortunately, happened a while back.

Am I ready to give the "heave ho" and head on out or will I still miss being where I am at? It is not easy to leave and say goodbye to a wonderful chapter in life but there are too many instances damaging the circumstances. I don't know if I can bear going through those instances again.

A change is needed. The question is - where?

Shanghai Grand Prize Win

2008-05-22T23:30:00.001+08:00

Ahh... yes, the long-postponed write-up on the long-awaited trip-of-a-lifetime that I won back in November 2007 and experienced in April 2008.

The sole reason for the trip: To catch Céline Dion - Taking Chances Live in Shanghai concert
The participants: Mom and myself
Length of trip: 4 days, 3 nights

The prize itself is a round trip from KL to Shanghai and back, so, being Penangites, we had to first make our way to KL by bus.

Here's Mom texting her way on the bus to KL.

We stayed at a friend's house for the remainder of the day before heading to KLIA via taxi at 10.30pm. We had a flight to catch, 1.40am flight, to be exact. It was a smooth flight to Shanghai. We reached at around 7am and was greeted by a lady holding a sign with our names on it. I didn't manage to grab a picture of that, though.

Leaving on a jet plane. At KLIA Terminal.

We hopped into the car that was provided for us and was driven to our hotel, which was about an hour's drive away from the Pudong International Airport.

They drive on the left side of the car, right side of the road. Ahh...

The ride was pretty quiet for most of the duration seeing as we had a bit (if not, a lot) of difficulties communicating with the lady and the driver. We managed to ask about a day tour and got ourselves signed up on the spot.

We checked in to our hotel first, the New Asia Hotel, dropped our luggages and practically ran out again as the tour has already started.

New Asia Hotel - night view. Didn't take a morning picture. D'oh!

We were rushed to meet with the rest of the tour group at the Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower. What it basically offers is a panoramic view of Shanghai from way up high. It was nice, but it was a bit hazy, so the pictures didn't turn out so well.

Shanghai Oriental Pearl TV Tower

Immediately after the Tower, we were whisked away to a wax museum, of some sort, of The Shanghai Bund - old and new. It was a fascinating insight to how Shanghai came to be, from its humble Chinese beginnings to its Western influence.

Entrance to the Shanghai Bund Museum

After the museum tour, we went on a cruise down Huangpu River, where the famous Shanghai Bund is situated.

Cruisin' along...

After all that, we went for lunch, and walked around Nanjing Road, which is a famous shopping haven, apparently. I went there by chance at night, alone. I wasn't aware that I'm not supposed to be walking alone at night in China. Hmm... I'm still here!

Nanjing Road

Phone battery died? No problem...

Chugging along on the tram at Nanjing Road

Nanjing Road at Night

That's pretty much it for Day 1. Day 2 would be concert day, which is nothing to shout about, but I'll write it up soon anyway.

New Beginnings

2008-01-14T22:24:00.001+08:00

The new has come and the old has gone. I have finally said goodbye to the old one. It wasn't easy, seeing as the old one was reluctant to go too. It was as though the old one had feelings. I guess, 10 years of being together is something, although I officially only had it for 7 years, but who's counting?

The new one is nice. That's all I can say for now. I occasionally miss the old one, but I guess, life has to go on.

Now, I am praying and trusting that the new one will be with me for a long time, faithfully.

What Was I Thinking?

2008-01-10T00:12:00.001+08:00

Ever felt like doing something new and exciting, thinking that you've thought things through very carefully but once you've stepped into that new world, more problems surfaced?

I think I'm in that predicament right now. That something new is getting me so worked up and worried, I'm having second thoughts on whether it was a wise move or I simply didn't think things though hard enough.

Sadly, I don't think I can undo what has been done. I just need to brace myself for what lies ahead and trust that God will see me through this.

Sigh... no regrets. NO regrets! It should be a happy occasion. Think happy thoughts!

SIGH.....

The Start of Something New

2008-01-08T20:49:00.001+08:00

By the end of this week (I think), there will be something new in my life. I am definitely excited by the prospect of this new thing in my life.

What is it, you ask?

Not in the position to say, at the moment. At least, don't feel like saying too much yet. I'm pretty stuck between a rock and a hard place right now. I want to move forward but at the same time, feeling very afraid of what lies ahead.

I will definitely miss the old one. I've had fond and not-so-very fond memories and the many adventures in the past. There were times I felt grateful and there were others where I felt completely infuriated by it.

Now, we've probably reached the time where we have to part ways and to say I won't miss it would be a lie.

Trying to look forward for now and hope (and pray) for the best.

Sigh...

Countdown to 2008 - Chapter 3

2007-12-31T01:03:00.001+08:00

This should be the last entry for the year and the final look back at how 2007 was like for me. One major highlight would be winning the grand prize to catch Céline Dion in concert in Shanghai. At times, I still have to pinch myself when I look at the mock ticket I lugged home on the bus from KL to Penang. It was an unbelievable experience, and when I come to think of it, God's favour was really upon my whole journey there, from being the first caller through up to winning the grand prize.

I've also won a few hundred Ringgit with MixFM as well. I have yet to receive the money, but just to know that it's coming is another blessing for me. God has been faithful in providing not just my needs, but also my wants. I didn't 'need' to win the Céline Dion tickets, I just wanted it, but God, who is ever so gracious, gave it to me anyway.

To top off the year, I've also got my 13th month pay banked in with my salary, which is also a huge boost for me, so, I'm excited and thankful for the extra that I have now. I can't wait to see what else God can and will do in my life in 2008. Just can't wait.

See ya next year!

Countdown to 2008 - Chapter 2

2007-12-28T23:56:00.001+08:00

OK, part deux.

Being unemployed in Malaysia is not like being unemployed in the US. At least, they have unemployment benefits. Over here, we pretty much have unemployment debts. When you don't earn money but still have to spend, you're just incurring debts. And incurring debts, I did. It was quite a lot that I actually didn't know how I would settle it. (OK, it's much easier to owe Mom than to owe the "Ah Longs", but still...)

One thing I learned from this is to trust God for His faithfulness. I can say that my debts were cleared not once, but twice this year. The first one was written off and the second one was settled within a couple of months after I started work. Best still, I now have surplus. Imagine being worse than broke and now having more than enough.

I've also learned not to worry too much about finances. Matthew 6: 25 - 34 puts a lot of things into perspective. I trust that I'll be able to get that computer upgrade and that digital camera in due time. *wink*

Countdown to 2008 - Chapter 1

2007-12-27T00:01:00.001+08:00

Let's see... Ah, yes, end December 2006 up to early April 2007 was when my sister, my 3 adorable nieces and my best-est little sister, Allora, came to visit us here in Penang. (Allora stayed only up till January 2007, but then my brother-in-law came in late March). At the same time, I was also jobless and frankly speaking, a little depressed and feeling rather hopeless. But during this time, I was able to spend time with them, travel with them and play with them, so, it was a blessing in disguise for me.

To be honest with you, I did wonder how I was going to spend time with them if I was working then and could only come back home after work, but God knew what to do. Being jobless and income-less is not fun at all (don't even try it if you're not financially prepared to), but I think God knew what I really wanted, which was time for them. And the best part of it all? Right about the time they were about to go back home, I got a job offer that started about a week or two after they left. If that's not God's timing, I don't know what else to define it.

It worked so well, I couldn't have planned it better myself. In fact, I didn't. I wasn't the one who initiated my resignation (truth be told) and I wasn't the one who found the job either. This has truly taught me that God is not one minute too early nor a second too late, but just right on time.

Countdown to 2008 - An Introduction

2007-12-26T00:05:00.001+08:00

OK, I haven't written an entry in a LONG while. I don't know if anyone still visits, but hey, who knows...

Anyway, it's Boxing Day today, which means, Christmas day is over, which means, there's only 1, 2, 3... err, 5 days to the last day of December, which means, 2007 will be over in less than a week. Wow, too much Mathematics! I think I've done my counting for the month.

Looking back, though, I think 2007 has been a significant year so far. It started off with my second sister, my 'best-est' little sister from the US (Allora) and my three nieces ringing in the new year with us here in Penang; to getting a great job in April; to witnessing how God has been faithful in every step of the way - whether in church, at work or even in my own life; to seeing a very precious sister-in-Christ begin a new chapter in life - marriage; as well as walking down life's path with the Lord.

I can't say I can remember all that has happened in 2007 but in the next few entries (I hope!), I'll try to look back on how life has been for me. Stay tuned.

Hapless Romantic

2006-08-18T03:00:00.000+08:00

Call me a hapless romantic, but wouldn't you JUST melt if the guy of your dreams happen to write something as BEAUTIFUL as this? I get goosebumps reading it and listening to the song. OK, maybe the melody isn't as beautiful as the poem itself, but it gets the "Ahhhh..... (I'm melting!)" vote from me. Let me just give you a background on this guy, some of you just MIGHT know him. He's Ryan and he's a firefighter from Colorado, he's tall, cute, and romantic. The 'drats!' factor is that he's married. Sigh..... There has to be more men like him out there! Manly yet romantic. Masculine but in touch with his emotions. Feel the love.....

Something About Her

Here I am, not knowing where I stand
Here I am, looking for a place to land
My heart in the palm of her hand
A boy dying to be her man
Between tomorrow and yesterday
What I really want to say
Is that I'm falling for something about her

She is to me the rainbow through the rain
She is to me the laughter through the pain
Like sugar from the cane,
directly through my veins
She's living in my dreams
She's a vision, and it seems
That I'm falling for something about her

My life has been a ship sailing sea to sea
My life has been completely set free
Moments of ecstasy, all I could hope it to be
Now with her I'd like to share
To show her how much I care
'Cause I'm falling for something about her

I'd like to say I'll love her night and day
I'd like to say I'll never turn away
Forever, come what may
By her side I'll always stay
She's every star that's in the sky
Every glimmer in my eye
And I'm falling for something about her

And his other poem:

Imagine a place fit for angels
Where laughter fills the air.
The whole place fresh and clean,
Smells like it just washed its hair.

Flowers paint the landscape,
Waters run crystal clear.
Gentle summer breezes,
Whisper music in your ear.

A place where dreams come true,
Every wish is granted.
Days of active splendor,
Moonlit nights enchanted.

Imagine this place of endless beauty,
And know that it doesn't compare,
To the moment I stepped out into the night,
And saw you standing there.

Sigh.....

*Poems by Ryan Sutter

Desperate Plea

2006-06-06T23:39:00.001+08:00

Don't tell the police but I wrote this as I was driving to work this morning. I typed it into my phone and saved it as I haven't mastered the art of writing with pen and paper while driving, not that I intend to. It's a continuation of my previous entry, as I still feel like Dave, the one who's stuck in the desert, not the one who defeated the Giant Pickle.

All of a sudden, I felt as though I was David, the Psalmist. Interesting.

Crying out to God in the car is nothing new to me. In fact, apart from the 'throne room' (ahem), the other place I feel really comfortable praying in is driving my car on the road alone. Today, the words just kept coming. It's not a 'new concept', I think it's pretty much everyone's plea at one time or another but it was my plea for this time and 'position' that I'm in.

I'm still struggling where I am, but at the end of the day, I know I will make it through. He will pull me through.

You are my Strength and my Shelter

When I'm not able to stand

You are my Healer and Protector

With You, I'm on the mend

You are the Author and Creator

My life is in Your hands

What more can I ask, Lord

But to seek Your face?

What more can I do

But to rest in the Secret Place?

What more can I give?
I will lay it at Your feet

Lord, take hold of me

And make me complete

Author: Me

Big Leagues and Little Leagues

2006-06-05T00:11:00.001+08:00

I wish I was talking about baseball instead, sounds like it, doesn't it?

This is something I've struggled with for the past week. Something that I feel guilty about yet at the same time, a bit disgruntled. OK, a lot more disgruntled than I let out. Something that I think God's trying to teach me. Patience..... (Now, that's a scary word!) and my motives for doing things.

I'm reminded of the VeggieTales' take on the story of David and Goliath. Dave and the Giant Pickle, to be exact. Yes, I agree, its outline is a bit unusual, but the gist of it remains. At this point in time, I'm pretty much like Dave in the desert, running around, picking up sheep off the ground, not doing anything "significant" or to be more precise, not involved in anything more significant than the brothers would let. And yes, singing the song "Why can't little guys do big things too....?"

Then, of course, you know how the story goes. Dave gallantly fights the Giant Pickle, with 5 stones in his hand, a sling and God on his side, the Giant came tumbling down. Everyone cheers and the little guy got to do the big thing that he's been wanting to do and have been singing about.

I haven't had my Goliath yet, at least, I think I haven't. I'm still stuck in that desert wishing to do more than I think I should be doing. I can do great things too, I'm capable. I can fight Goliaths, I can take on big things, I should be taking on big things. But ultimately, the questions that surfaced are: Yes, I am more than capable of taking things on, but to whose glory will I credit it to; myself or God? To whose righteousness am I standing on; my own or His Righteousness? To whose strength am I relying on; my own human strength or God's abundant strength?

It's no fun picking up sheep in the desert. No fun at all when everyone you know is out there planning on how to defeat Goliath. Doing the big things and not being involved.

But I would rather fight my Goliaths with God on my side than on my own with no one else around. So if it means having to put up with picking up sheep in the desert, I'll do it. If Dave gets the Giant Pickle to pick on in the end, I will have my own as well, in His time. Impatience comes easier than patience, the waiting game is the hardest to play, but in His time, there will be a chance for me.

God Is In Control

2006-05-05T10:03:00.001+08:00

Ever felt like life had passed you by without so much as a whistle? Ever felt useless because good things seem to happen to people around you but not yourself even though you've tried hard? Ever felt as though you are inferior to the next person because you are not getting what they are getting or going through what they are going through?

I had that feeling not too long ago. In fact, I've had that feeling before quite a few times in my life. I bet you, I might feel that way in the future but I'll worry for today and not tomorrow. Actually, I don't really want to worry anymore. It's not in my position to worry about things that I can't control.

Feelings of being passed by are just that, mere feelings. Partially attributed to being discontent or worse, envy. (Eek!) I've come to realize that things happen for a reason, things DON'T happen for a reason, and there's a season for things to happen and a season for things NOT to happen. Confused? Don't be.

I came across this song as I was having my own pity party in my room the other day. A song that I wouldn't have played on my computer if I didn't feel a little nudge of interest to LISTEN to the album in the first place. (It's one of those subtle signs that God knows what to do when I don't know what to do.) It was the first song on the album and the only one that had a lot of airtime because I got too caught up in the song to listen to the others. Here's a snippet:

God is in control

We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control

We will choose to remember and never be shaken

There is no power above or beside Him

We know, oh, God is in control

Oh, God is in control

Things happen for a reason, things DON'T happen for a reason. Nevertheless, I will not be forsaken, I will not be forgotten. I do not have to worry, I do not need to feel jealous. I just have to choose to remember that He is in control.

It doesn't mean that God has passed you by if other people around you seem to be heading in the directions that you want to head yet you're still stuck at where you are at the moment. It just means He probably has a different direction for you or it is just not the time yet. God is in control. Just choose to remember that.

I'm trying.

He has never let you down

Why start to worry now?

He is still the Lord of all we see

And He is still the loving Father

Watching over you and me

*God Is In Control - Twila Paris

Keys To My Heart? Hmm.....

2005-11-30T10:30:00.001+08:00

Interesting Observation.....

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free.

In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved.

You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change.

You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please.

Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts.

Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment.

You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred.

In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Procrastination Results In Nothingness

2005-11-24T14:31:00.001+08:00

OK, my fault. I haven't been writing in a long while and I admit that I have been "putting off 'til tomorrow what I can do today." Guilty as charged! That and I haven't been focusing on what to write on for the past couple of months.

But seeing as today is the 4th Thursday of November, which means, it is Thanksgiving Day in the US of A so I would like to write a bit about the things that I'm grateful for that I have not been giving thanks for, or rather, occasionally taken for granted of.

The gift of Family - I still have a place I call home, sisters that are now very high tech that we no longer speak that much in person but more often online. A Mom who surprises me with the occasional quirky comment or even an introduction to a different broadband company that I personally haven't even heard of! Aunties that are like second mothers, really. Family, don't you just love them?

The gift of Friends - They come in different characters and personalities, different roles (ie. funny friends, parental figures, sports activity friends, spiritual guides, etc.....), sometimes they clash with mine, other times, we just get on really well, but, all in all, without them, I'd have to say that life would not be as fun as it is right now, even though there are times I'd sing "Can't live with you, can't live without you". How true, though.

The gift of Food - Nothing beats the selections that we, Malaysians, have been pampered with for years! A good beef rendang still hits the spot as well as sushi, we've got local food and international food, so much so that we are truly spoiled for choice. I have to say, to be able to see food, smell food, taste food and digest food is something to be thankful for.

The gift of Providence - I still have a job, whereby, at times I would absolutely abhor my superior, but ultimately, it pays the bills and supports my lifestyle (which isn't that lavish, mind you) and my weekends are off limits for more important activities.

The gift of Time - As much as 24 hours may not seem enough sometimes, I'm glad that I am still able to give my time to do things necessary and spend it on people as well.

The gift of Talent - Even though I don't see it yet others seem to, I guess I've been blessed with the gift of being able to learn things quite fast and having a wide interest in all things related to music, language and the likes. (Funny how I still prefer being in the Science field!)

The gift of a Special Buddy - For those of you who know me well enough will know that I'm unattached, so, don't start getting any ideas. I just want to tell my Buddy that I appreciate our friendship very much, through the rough patches as well as the smooth roads. God couldn't have given me a better friend, that's for sure.

The gift of Life - Need I say more? I am complete in Him, my sins are washed away by His blood, my days couldn't be any brighter, my future is safe in His hands, everything I need will be provided.

I have a few more that I can't seem to be able to put into words, but just in case you see something missing, the gift of Celibacy is not going to be here, at least, I don't think so, but I could be wrong. *grin*

Have a Happy Thanksgiving Day! Many blessings!

Alone Yet Happy!

2005-10-01T15:57:00.001+08:00

Before you start getting any ideas, this is not about being single, unattached or whatnot in a worldly view. It's all about the essence of walking with Jesus on a daily basis, in anything and everything that you do. I would like to think that I'm teachable, therefore, if you find that my thoughts are not completely correct, then, by all means, do let me know.

I still remember my testimony when I first shared it with the congregation upon recommitting my life to Jesus, somewhere in November of 2002. I believe that my testimony was not really from the flesh because I knew I couldn't have thought about that all by myself. I understood, back then, the concept of carrying the Cross. The concept of the journey that awaits every believer.

I remember that one point very clear: Go after Jesus alone. Alone. Gee..... honestly, in the human sense, alone sounds, uhm..... lonely. But I get the point, I really do. In this context, I've realized that my walk with Christ is truly my own journey alone with Christ. I can't have someone else walk down the path He has set for me. It is my journey, my walk, my life. Sounds selfish, but in all accounts, it is. It is an exclusive relationship that one has with our Maker. Each is different, each is important but none is more important than the next, for God loves us each unconditionally.

I was at a low point recently and I deliberately avoided the crowd. Deliberately. Some parts of me may have wanted to 'test waters' and see who would reach out and come get me, but mainly, I needed to be alone, or at least, to know what being alone feels like. It is seriously not too bad. In my standards, the 'test waters' part failed because my expectations were not met, but I was truly comforted in my alone time. How? I was assured, that in the event that people did not come for me, or stopped coming for me, Jesus came and would still come for me, time and time again.

I was alone in my humanness but not alone in my spirit. All in all, I've realized the need to be alone, in the Secret Place, where my heart meets with God and where I am assured that no matter how alone I may feel, it is just a feeling, not a reality, for He is with me; always has and always will be.

Be encouraged, you are never alone. God bless.

Running Away (Part Deux)

2005-09-18T21:23:00.001+08:00

Yup, this time, I finally ran away for a bit. A tiring but exciting one-day trip down south to the capital of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. I was already planning on going down for just one day because a friend of mine was already in KL and I thought, maybe I could hitch a ride back with him. Turns out, early Friday morning, my other friend called up and said, "Shall we?"

Well, why not?

So, immediately after home group, we went over to my house, I got packed (well, what's there to pack for a one-day trip that doesn't even require staying in?) and then headed for the bus station. We hoped for a better bus, but the one that we got, thank God, still managed to get us there safely, so no complaints there.

Our bus left at 11.45pm, got us there at 4.30am. Literally, too early for any public transportation, so we decided to just walk to the nearest train station and waited until 6am. It was still hazy in KL and it was slowly killing my throat. (I'm battling with a cough now!) We met up with a cousin of my friend's, got some breakfast, went over to their house for a quick shower and change and then headed for a long drive around the Prime Minister's office grounds, HUGE ground. Finally met up with our friend that was already in KL, ate at Chili's! Yippee! After 2 years, I think it was a long awaited trip to Chili's. Well worth the RM60 I spent for lunch! Ribs, chicken breast (grilled to perfection), chocolate fudge/brownie topped with vanilla ice cream and finally, not forgetting, the chili itself. I was in chili heaven, really.

Anyway, drooling aside, we spent 2 hours at Chili's and then went shopping before meeting up with a couple of friends studying in KL and then headed home with my friend in his car.

Ultimately, it was a tiring, but interesting time. If I hadn't gotten sick, I think I would've enjoyed it much better, but, all in all, it was still a good time of fellowship and great food. I don't think I had dinner after that trip to Chili's.

I'm looking forward to a longer, exciting trip. I mean, this was out of the norm but life shouldn't get too monotonous and scheduled anyway. Looking forward to more excursions, I hope it'll come soon. Now it's time to gain back the hours of sleep I've lost on the trip.

Song Of The Season

2005-08-30T00:54:00.001+08:00

This is part of my "Song of the Day" theme, but this is what I feel for now. It's my song of the season. I'm tired of a lot of things. Basically, I'm really tired. I'm not satisfied. Not at all. There's more to life and I know that He will reveal it in His time. But right now, I want to be hungry, I want to be thirsty. I want nothing of this world to ever have a hold on me except Jesus; my Saviour, my Redeemer, my Solid Rock, my Shelter and my Strength.

I'm tired of losing my reason for living. I don't want to lose my focus anymore. This song is my cry, my cry for a better future in Christ. Don't be content, continue to hunger and thirst for Him.

Believe - Hillsong

I say on Sunday how much I want revival

But then on Monday, I can't even find my Bible

Where's the power, the power of the Cross in my life?

I'm sick of playing the game of religion

I'm tired of losing my reason for living

Where's the power, the power of the Cross in my life?

I'm not content just to walk through my life

Giving in to the lies, walking in compromises now

We cry out as a generation that was lost

But now is found in the power of the Cross

We believe in You

We believe in the power of Your Word and its Truth

We believe in You

So we lay down our cause

That our Cross might be found in You

I'm not satisfied doing it my own way

I'm not satisfied to 'do church' and walk away

I'm not satisfied

There's no love in my life but You

I'm not satisfied living in yesterday's hour

I'm not satisfied to have the form but not the Power

I'm not satisfied

Lord, I am crucified in You

I'm not satisfied. And I'm not content just to walk through life as it is. There is more.

Running Away

2005-08-29T15:05:00.001+08:00

"I'm leaving on a jetplane, I don't know when I'll be back again." Sigh..... How I wished that was true. Yeah, I'm on my 'slump' again. The 'slump' of wanting to go some place else and rejuvenate myself. I think I'm either too filled with the monotony of my life cycle, or I'm an almost-empty vessel giving too much of myself to too many things.

I think I'm a little bit of both. I am tired of my weekly cycle, it's not really 'exciting' anymore. I mean, it's sort of expected, in some ways. I usually know what's happening on most days that I don't get 'swept off my feet' over anything, well, at least not yet. On the other hand, I've been active in quite a few things that now, I feel like sitting back and not do anything but watch from the stands.

Hmm..... Maybe I'm being surrounded by too many people whom, at one point or another, are travelling to places or have just finished their travels. I wonder when my turn is going to come. My friends tell me to wait. Just wait. I've waited for close to 2 years already, but that's solely because I am dead set on going to one place only. I need a break, or so I think I do. The question is: When?

Walkin' On Heels

2005-08-25T11:29:00.000+08:00

I have an interesting job. Interesting as in, I never knew that I would actually patrol the grounds of my company. I had the obvious displeasure (you'll see why) of patrolling the grounds with my company's security guard today, mainly because I'm taking over my officer's job functions. It's not hard to patrol the grounds as there are only 5 checkpoints. The only mention is, I was wearing heels that day. It's not high, but bad enough to cause discomfort, particularly on rocky tar roads, steep inclines, staircases and grassy patches. Also, not when the ground is wet, as it just rained earlier in the morning.

I wish I could have done this on another day when I'm wearing sports shoes, but that's not the case. It's not like I'm patrolling the grounds everyday, anyway. I sure hope not.

Do You See What I See?

2005-08-14T20:01:00.001+08:00

The haze hit Penang Friday night after KL area was hit at the beginning of the week. It's not a pretty sight, as you can tell from the picture. It's actually a shot from my apartment room window. On a good day, you can actually see green mountains. As you can tell, you could only see within a mile radius. This was Saturday morning.

As for this one, it's suppose to overlook the ocean and the Penang Bridge. Nope, can't see anything.

I Drive Myself Crazy

2005-08-14T19:42:00.001+08:00

My sister asked me the most fascinating question when I put this up on my MSN the other day; "I Drive Myself Crazy". How so?

Well, I thought I'd explain the reason behind that. Ever heard of the sentence "You Drive Me Crazy"? Unless you've been living in a cave, that title was also a hit song for a certain Britney Spears. Anyway, it brings me back to this, can people actually drive me crazy? Technically, maybe, but more so than not, it is myself that allows me to be driven to the point of insanity. Not following me?

See, no one controls your feelings except you. No one controls your emotions except you. No one controls your mind, your thoughts, your perceptions except you. Getting the point already? I thought so. Basically, if you're thinking too much about something that you shouldn't be thinking about, you're bound to drive yourself crazy. The same goes with worrying too much about things not meant to be worried about, imagining things that aren't there to be imagined.

We can't help but think of things, that is the function of our brain, but we can help limit it by removing unnecessary thoughts and perceptions. It is easier said than done, oh, for sure, but when your focus is correct, it will not be too hard. Remember, God will not overwhelm us. If we only look to Him more and more, surrender our thoughts and worries to Him, only then will we be enlightened and not burdened.

Song Of The Day

2005-08-02T23:40:00.001+08:00

I was chatting with a friend and playing a selection of songs on my computer and this song, of all the other songs, attracted me the most. It is a song of acknowledgement. To acknowledge the One who saved me, the One who carries me through every joy and every hurt. It's a song of surrender, to let go, to trust and have faith in the One and Only.

I think this song will speak for itself and needs no explanation. I'm learning to trust my whole life to Him who walks before me, for He knows my name and He knows my every thought and desire. He's all I need.

Jesus, You're All I Need

Jesus, You're all I need

You're all I need

Now I give my life to You alone

You are all I need

Jesus, You're all I need

You're all I need

Lord, You gave Yourself so I could live

You are all I need

Oh, You purchased my salvation

And wiped away my tears

Now I drink Your living waters

And I'll never thirst again

For You alone are holy

I'll worship at Your throne

And You will reign forever

Holy is the Lord

Have You Ever Been Low?

2005-07-26T09:31:00.001+08:00

Ever wondered why the people closest to you tend to hurt you the most? I do. It's not uncommon when it comes to relatives and close friends. Every gesture and every word they put out bear more meaning and more depth to you than your acquaintances. Why? It's because of your expectations of them. You would expect more from your family members than your good friends. You would expect more from your good friends than your acquaintances.

And why is that, you ask? Well, because you know who they are and what they are capable of. You've seen them at their best and at their worst. If you needed something from them, you know that they will be able to provide you with that need. But, why then, does it hurt? Simple, you know that they can provide for you in times of need, but when they aren't able to, you get disappointed, knowing full well that it could have been better. That's why.

It gets you down when your friends don't reply your messages compared to your acquaintances. Feedback from friends bear more meaning than words from other people. One word from a friend is better than 10 words from a stranger, you get the drift.

Now that I'm able to put my finger on it, what can I do about it? Can I lower my expectations on them? I can, but it's hard to do that, knowing that your friends are capable of much more. Be prepared to be let down? Hmm..... thinkable but not doable. Continue to love them despite the disappointment? Bingo.

Let's face it, hurt is hurt, there's no other way to describe it. But, in order to be able to love as well as you want to love and be loved, you have to let the hurt go. You have to let the disappointment go. You have to forgive. It's in your hands. It's up to you. Likewise, it's up to me to forgive my friends and continue to love them even if they've hurt me with their words or deeds.

Know this: God knows what we are capable of. God knows that we can be better, we can do better. God's expectations on us are quite high. Do we fail? Oh yes, we definitely do. Does He condemn us? No. Does He still love us? You bet!

So, let the hurt and the disappointments go. Live another day knowing that God doesn't hold our failures against us, neither should we do so against our friends and family. Be blessed.

Being In Love

2005-07-20T14:00:00.001+08:00

This topic is harder than I thought. No, I'm not going romantic on anyone, neither am I confessing any love to any one person. (I'm not quite sure if I'm qualified to do so now, after stumbling upon articles that have made me re-think the whole scenario - in a good way, of course!) It's just a lingering thought in my head for the past few weeks.

How can we honestly say we love someone, be it family love, brotherly love, sisterly love, or once in a lifetime love? What exactly does it mean to love? What is love? I'm reminded of this verse in 1 Cor. 13:4-5, which says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs." Safe to say, I think I've failed in many aspects of the love that is mentioned in that verse.

Let me let you in on a secret (oh boy, am I going to regret this or what?!), I've got a green-eyed monster hiding in my closet. Yup, the worse kind! Its name is envy a.k.a jealousy. It's not a pretty sight, let's just put it that way. But I thank God that His grace is sufficient for me time and time again.

Which brings me back to a thought that came to me just yesterday; love. I can't begin to grasp how deep God's love is for us, but I know one thing for sure, God's love is so wonderful and so great, lest we forget John 3:16. I found this quote that says: "Love sacrifices, love considers another more important, love rejoices in the well being and safety of another, love begets honesty, integrity, and character. Love unites people together, brings out forgiveness, and even anoints the hearts of God's people to contemplate on holiness, purity, forgiveness, humility, patience, and more."

I've realised that God loves us. But He doesn't just love us, He will still love us whether or not we love Him in return. That's how profound His love is. To be able to love the people around you without expecting any love in return. Of course, we would want our love to be reciprocated, but God will still love us regardless of whether or not we love Him back. How awesome is that?!

It is of this same love that we are required to love the people around us, friends and enemies. It is only through this unconditional love of God that we are able to comprehend (a bit) on how we are supposed to love one another. Can I love without all the unnecessary baggages like envy, pride, selfishness and with more of the qualities of patience, kindness and forgiveness? I'll let you know.

Remember, we don't have to be perfect, for perfection is beyond our reach, but we can always sharpen the tools that are blunt, therefore, we can always let God work in us and through us in order to love as best as we could.

Blocked

2005-07-15T08:58:00.001+08:00

Hmm..... as you can tell, there has been an absence of posts these past few days. I've been too busy to update anything at the moment. I'm literally swamped at work, getting piled by extra work on top of my normal work. Oh well, such is life in the working environment.

One up-side is that I've been given a letter of confirmation after three months of service, which is a good sign. Other than that, I haven't had the time to sit down and think these past few days.

I have, however, been in touch with a couple of missionaries who are currently stationed in Thailand. They are quite the cute couple. It was a fun and interesting time of fellowship and learning, as they had quite a few stories to tell.

Well, as for now, I'm in a very jazzy mood these few days, being influenced by Michael Bublé as well as Renee Olstead. Give them a try if you're a jazz lover. They won't fail to impress.

So Near Yet So Far.....

2005-07-12T10:29:00.001+08:00

Hmm..... Where to start? Well, I guess, at the beginning. I entered a competition, through sheer chance, really, because I never heard of it until someone came into my office and started talking about it. I sent in two entries, and started dreaming. Not a lot, because I'm a dreamer, but also a realist. The ONLY prize was a Volvo XC90, which is worth an estimate of over RM300k. (Uh-huh, now you know why I can "afford" to dream!)

I pretty much gave up on it close to two months into it, as, well, they mentioned that they would get back to the winner in a fortnight's time. Turns out, I got a call mid-June that I was a finalist, one of 7 vying for the grand prize. Now, by then, I was really dreaming of what I could actually do with the prize. After a while, though, they didn't get back to me to see whether I've won, and just last week, I found out that I wasn't the winner. Bummer..... Yeah, really a case of 'so near yet so far'.

On a lighter side, I just got a letter from them telling me that I didn't win but, as a consolation prize, I'll get a United Colors of Benetton Cabin Bag. OK, maybe I'm meant to fly off somewhere instead! Start dreaming!

A Cup of Water

2005-07-10T01:09:00.001+08:00

A group of working adults got together to visit their University lecturer. The Lecturer was happy to see them. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

The Lecturer just smiled and went to the kitchen to get an assortment of cups - some porcelain, some in plastic, some in glass, some plain looking and some looked rather expensive and exquisite.

The Lecturer offered his former students the cups to get drinks for themselves.

When all the students had a cup in hand with water, the Lecturer spoke: "If you noticed, all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal that you only want the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress. What all you wanted was water, not the cup, but we unconsciously went for the better cups."

"Just like in life, if Life is Water, then the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold/maintain Life, but the quality of Life doesn't change."

"If we only concentrate on the cup, we won't have time to enjoy/taste the water in it."

The Mayonnaise Jar and the 2 Cups of Coffee

2005-07-08T11:46:00.001+08:00

When things in your life seem almost too much to handle, when 24 hours in a day are not enough, remember the mayonnaise jar and the 2 cups of coffee.

A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, he wordlessly picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed that it was.

The professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with a unanimous "Yes!"

The professor then produced two cups of coffee from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed.

"Now," said the professor as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things -- your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions -- and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full.

The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.

The sand is everything else -- the small stuff."

"If you put the sand into the jar first," he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff you will never have room for the things that are important to you."

"Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical checkups. Take your spouse out to dinner. Play another 18-hole. There will always be time to clean the house and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first -- the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand."

One of the students raised her hand and inquired what the coffee represented.

The professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of cups of coffee with a friend."

Name That Thing! (Part Deux)

2005-07-08T10:50:00.001+08:00

OK, I'm still stuck with no name for my guitar. Why do I need a name for it in the first place? I forget. I've found a few choice picks for it. In fact, it's quite a pick for anyone who intends to have kids in the near future. Mind you, most of these names are boy names. I'm a girl, what do you expect?! The last four names came as a suggestion from Mr. Kacuakman. (You know who you are! hehe.....)

Here they are in random order (really, I didn't have time to put it in alphabetical order!):

Names:

Joshua (shortened form Josh)
The name Jesus is the Greek version of the Hebrew name Joshua. The meaning is found in Matthew 1:12 'You are to give him the name Jesus, because he will save his people from their sins'. Joshua, who guided the Israelites to the Promised land also bore this name. God saves!

Jed
This biblical name is from Hebrew and means 'God's friend'. It appears in (2 Sam. 12:25).

Jerome
This name originates from Greek where it means 'holy name'.

Brendan
It means 'prince' and it originates from Gaelic.

Ethan
This Hebrew name is found in the bible of two minor biblical characters. It means 'Loyal '.

Casey
Brave, watchful in Celtic/Gaelic.

Damien
Sweet and harmless in Greek.

Daniel
Hebrew for my judge is the Lord.

Darrell
Darling in French.

Ivan
God is good in Slavic.

Jarod/Jared
Hebrew for one who rules.

Jordan
To descend/to flow in Hebrew.

Riley
Gaelic for Valiant.

Ryan
Gaelic for Little King.

Shane
God is Gracious in Irish.

Zachary (Zach)
Hebrew for God remembers, renowned by God.

Hazel
Commander in Old English

Ashley
Old English for ash-tree

Nellie
Greek for the bright one

Toni
French for Worthy of Praise

God - Tech Support

2005-07-07T16:41:00.001+08:00

Tech Support: Yes. How can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install Love. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes, I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?

Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure. Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness. Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components ." What should I do?

Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?

Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self; Realize your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.

Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart. Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes a while, but eventually everything gets in at the proper time. So Love is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. Love is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.

Customer: Thank you, God.

Name That Thing!

2005-07-07T00:46:00.000+08:00

OK, I honestly don't know how many people actually visit my blog, but I shall be content with a few (for now!). Anyway, if you've read my previous post, I just purchased a very nice acoustic guitar, well, it's based on my standards. Anyway, I'm trying to figure out a name for it. It's an Ashton guitar (D38 CEQ Thinline Acoustic/Electric) but I'm wondering what to nickname it with. Any ideas? Leave comments with a few name suggestions, ya?

Temporary Insanity

2005-07-06T11:43:00.001+08:00

If you've noticed, I've changed the background for my blog. Something went wrong with the other template and until I can figure out what went wrong, I'm sticking to this one as an alternative. Unless, of course, you guys like this background, leave a comment and let me know.

Just a reminder, I have no professional training in HTML whatsoever, so this might take a while. As for entries, don't worry, it should still be coming in.

Thanks for visiting!

Praying For Others

2005-07-06T09:34:00.001+08:00

A voyaging ship was wrecked during a storm at sea and only two of the men on it were able to swim to a small, desert-like island. The two survivors, not knowing what else to do, agreed that they had no other recourse but to pray to God. However, to find out whose prayer was more powerful, they agreed to divide the territory between them and stayed on opposite sides of the island. The first thing they prayed for was food.

The next morning, the first man saw a fruit-bearing tree on his side of the land, and he was able to eat its fruit. The other man's parcel of land remained barren.

After a week, the first man was lonely and he decided to pray for a wife. The next day, another ship was wrecked, and the only survivor was a woman who swam to his side of the land. On the other side of the island, there was nothing! Soon the first man prayed for a house, clothes, more food. The next day, like magic, all of these were given to him. However, the second man still had nothing.

Finally, the first man prayed for a ship, so that he and his wife could leave the island. In the morning, he found a ship docked on his side of the island. The first man boarded the ship with his wife and decided to leave the second man on the island. He considered the other man unworthy to receive God's blessings, since none of his prayers had been answered.

As the ship was about to leave, the first man heard a voice from heaven booming, "Why are you leaving your companion on the island?"

"My blessings are mine alone, since I was the one who prayed for them," the first man answered. "His prayers were all unanswered and so he does not deserve anything."

"You are mistaken!" the voice rebuked him. "He had only one prayer, which I answered. If not for that, you would not have received any of my blessings."

"Tell me," the first man asked the voice, "what did he pray for that I should owe him anything?"

"He prayed that all your prayers be answered."

For all we know, our blessings are not the fruits of our prayers alone, but those of another praying for us. This is too good not to share. With obedience come blessings. My prayer for you today is that all your prayers are answered. Be blessed.

"What you do for others is more important than what you do for yourself."

This was shared with me by a friend, I hope you will share with your friends too.

The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart. - Helen Keller

Let It Rain!

2005-07-06T08:45:00.001+08:00

This morning was interesting. I felt like I woke up on the wrong side of the bed; head was throbbing, nose was stuffed-up, throat was dry, I thought, "Gee, it's going to be a rough day today!". Hopped into the shower (I can't quite recall if I washed my hair with the conditioner or with the body soap!), got dressed, had a hefty breakfast (bacon, ham and toasted bread - 3 days in a row! Hmm.....) and headed out to work almost in a blurry state of mind.

I had a love song in my head since last night, 'All Because Of You' by Céline Dion, and it's generally a song about being truly in love with someone, either your partner or your child (even some of the words could apply to Jesus). Then, all of a sudden, I had this feeling of gratitude in my heart. It's as though midway through driving, I finally woke up, enjoyed the sights that I normally don't bother looking at when I'm driving, walking with a smile on my face even though the rain was drizzling down.

'What the world needs now is love, sweet love'. Actually, I feel that what the world needs now is a feeling of gratitude, even for the littlest things.

'Time is a very precious gift from God; so precious that it's only given to us moment by moment' - Amelia Barr

Take time to enjoy, walk in the soft drizzle, make yourself a warm cup of cocoa or coffee, read a good book, spend time with family and friends. I shall leave you with the song I mentioned earlier.

All Because Of You - Céline Dion

Thought I could define it

One look in your eyes when it proved me wrong

I find myself speechless

This feeling of completeness is so strong

And I was convinced that my heart had reached its limit

Until you created this new place in it

Your touch wraps around me

In love that knows no boundaries now

There's nothing I wouldn't do for you

You're the answer I've been needing

Life has a whole new meaning now

All because of you

Everything is different

There's no frame of reference for the way I feel

But to look at your face

I'm still amazed, I can't believe you're real

I can lie here forever just watching you sleep

Hanging on every breath that you breathe

Your touch wraps around me

In love that knows no boundaries now

There's nothing I wouldn't do for you

You're the answer I've been needing

Life has a whole new meaning now

All because of you

The Carpenter

2005-07-06T08:40:00.001+08:00

An elderly carpenter was ready to retire. He told his employer-contractor of his plans to leave the house-building business and live a more leisurely life with his wife, enjoying his extended family. He would miss the paycheck, but he needed to retire. They could get by.

The contractor was sorry to see his good worker go and asked if he could build just one more house as a personal favour. The carpenter said yes, but in time it was easy to see that his heart was not in his work. He resorted to shoddy workmanship and used inferior materials. It was an unfortunate way to end a dedicated career.

When the carpenter finished his work, the employer came to inspect the house. He handed the front-door key to the carpenter.

"This is your house," he said, "My gift to you!"

The carpenter was shocked! What a shame! If he had only known he was building his own house, he would have done it all so differently.

So it is with us. We build our lives, a day at a time, often putting less than our best into the building. Then with a shock we realize we have to live in the house we have built. If we could do it over, we'd do it much differently.

But we cannot go back.

You are the carpenter.

Each day you hammer a nail, place a board, or erect a wall. "Life is a do-it-yourself project," someone has said.

Your attitudes and the choices you make today, build the "house" you live in tomorrow. Build wisely!

Remember....

Work like you don't need the money.

Love like you've never been hurt.

Dance like nobody is watching.

Pass this on to someone you like. I did!

E-mail Prayer

2005-07-04T08:34:00.001+08:00

A dear friend sent me this e-mail and I found it to be quite encouraging and a big blessing. I hope that you too will be blessed!

Dear Lord,

I thank You for this day. I thank You for my being able to see and to hear this morning.
I'm blessed because You are a forgiving God and an understanding God.
You have done so much for me and You keep on blessing me.
Forgive me this day for everything I have done, said, or thought that was not pleasing to You.
I ask now for Your forgiveness.
Please keep me safe from all danger and harm.
Help me to start this day with a new attitude and plenty of gratitude.
Let me make the best of each and every day to clear my mind so that I can hear from You.
Please broaden my mind that I can accept all things.
Let me not whine and whimper over things I have no control over, and it's the best response when I'm pushed beyond my limits.
I know that when I can't pray, You listen to my heart.
Continue to use me to do Your will.
Continue to bless me that I may be a blessing to others.
Keep me strong that I may help the weak.
Keep me uplifted that I may have words of encouragement for others.
I pray for those that are lost and can't find their way.
I pray for those that are misjudged and misunderstood.
I pray for those who don't know You intimately.
I pray for those that don't believe.
But I thank you that I believe.
I believe that God changes people and God changes things.
I pray for all my sisters and brothers and for each and every family members in their households.
I pray for peace, love and joy in their homes that they are out of debts and all their needs are met.
I pray that every eye that reads this knows there are no mountains, problems, circumstances, or situations greater than God.
Every battle is in Your hands for You to fight.
I pray that these words be received into the hearts of every eye that sees it.
In the majestic name of Jesus Christ, I pray, Amen!

Have a great week ahead!

Song Of The Day

2005-07-03T22:49:00.001+08:00

Ever had the feeling where your own perception of inadequacy hinders you from attaching yourself to people? That what you've done, what you've said, who you are, may not be "good enough" for your friends and your family? In the event where you've done something wrong, or not well enough, that you feel you've let your peers, friends and family down, that maybe, their love for you has lessen a bit.

I'm following in the footsteps of unconditional love. I do admit that there will be disappointments in being let down, feelings being hurt; brokenness and helplessness starts to seep in. However, I am reminded of a song that simply means this: In your brokenness, you will still be complete in God, for He welcomes you with open arms, regardless of what you've done or even what you will do.

What I like about this song is this: Nothing you can do, could make Him love you more, And nothing that you've done, could make Him close the door. In reality, because of our humanness and imperfection, we cannot guarantee people that same condition but God can. Come to the Father in your brokenness and emptiness, He will heal your hearts and fill your life with His love.

So You Would Come - Hillsong

Before the world began

You were on His mind

And every tear you cry

Is precious in His eyes

Because of His great love

He gave His only Son

Everything was done

So you would come

Nothing you can do

Could make Him love you more

And nothing that you've done

Could make Him close the door

Because of His great love

He gave His only Son

Everything was done

So you would come

Come to the Father

Though your gift is small

Broken hearts, broken lives

He will take them all

The power of the Word

The power of His blood

Everything was done

So you would come

You Live, You Learn

2005-07-02T21:34:00.001+08:00

24 hours. That's the amount of time you get in a day. Once that second ticks by, it's not coming back again. It's already past the halfway mark for the year 2005. Makes me wonder, what have I done in the past half a year that is 'significant' or 'worthwhile'?

I know I'm moving in the right direction, at least, I think I am. Music is in my blood, it's in my heart and being given the opportunity to express that, even in a small church setting, I think that was a big start for me. I'm just wondering what's next.

I just booked my first acoustic guitar today. An Ashton guitar. Costs me a bundle, but it's an investment. Yup, I'm reminding myself that it's for long term, so it should be worth the money! I just have to wait for other accessories to come by before I pick up my guitar. After all, it's the first one.

Anyway, back to my title, I'm recently listening in to a few angst-ridden songs, running back and forth between Alanis Morissette and Avril Lavigne. I'm stuck on "You Learn" by Alanis Morissette and it's a song about taking risks and taking chances, because that's what life is about. Taking risks and learning from it, whether the risk taken was a success or a failure, it's still a learning experience.

You live you learn

You love you learn

You cry you learn

You lose you learn

You bleed you learn

You scream you learn

Life is a learning experience. You are being put in situations you wish you aren't in, but at the end of the day, it benefits you as you go along, being tested and all, because then, you become a better person. You live, you learn.

Of Raging Seas and Victories (a.k.a. Song Of The Day)

2005-06-30T14:29:00.001+08:00

Ooh, rhyming title there! I'm in a wacky mood this past week. I don't know if it's lack of sleep, too much thinking or both. I went by the beach with a few friends yesterday evening. The sea was rough, but the waves that crashed in was just marvellous. My feet in the sand, the warm evening waves rushing in, this is truly a great creation from our God of Wonders.

It's funny how this song came to me earlier in the week. Having not listened to this song for a while, I only knew how the chorus went, but not the verse. I got to HEAR it in my hostess' house just this Tuesday. What a coincidence! I think God prepares His children ahead of time. I mean, I'm reminded of my friend's blog entry, in which she wrote about what she read in Amy Carmichael's book. It said: We only see today. He whom we worship sees tomorrow.

I'm being a little overwhelmed with thinking about work, friends, life..... the usual. Assumptions are dangerous, I know that for sure, but not knowing what the future holds intimidates me a bit. OK, maybe a lot. I try not to think of what may come, though good or bad, except to bless the Lord and trust that He only gives His children what is best.

You Are - Hillsong

You are my light and salvation

Whom shall I fear?

You are the strength of all my days

And whom shall I be afraid?

Though war may rise against me

Of this will I be sure

That I will bless the Lord forever

I'll bless Your holy name

Yes, I will bless the Lord forever

I'll bless Your holy name

Lord it is You I desire

It's You that I seek

To live with You in Your house forever

Beholding Your beauty

And in the time of trouble

Of this will I be sure

You ask me who do I

Say that You are and I

Say that You are the Christ

Son of the Living God

'Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.' - James 1:17

Be blessed!

Girls' Night In & More

2005-06-29T09:09:00.001+08:00

'How do you solve a problem like Maria? How do you catch a cloud and pin it down?'

Sound familiar? I thought it would. It's a family classic dating back to 1965 and is three hours in length. Yup, that's 'The Sound of Music'. Yesterday, a few ladies, well, about 10, sat in a living room of our gracious hostess to eat, watch and sing-along to the music of yesteryear. What a fun event that was.

On a not so happy note, three of our friends will be heading south for their further education in a few days' time. I would like to take this opportunity to leave them each a message. I'll be using initials to 'protect' their identities! haha.....

SY, thank you for your laughter and your joy. You can lift anybody up with that contagious laughter of yours. Keep on laughing and keep on smiling. I'm grateful for your friendship.

MP, it has been a pleasure to be able to help you along these past few months. You have been a joy to work with and to be with. Thank you for your friendship and your thoughfulness. Hope to see you more often when you're on your break!

SM, last but NEVER least! What an honour! To see you playing better and better each week, it's really encouraging. Thank you for being who you are and for your support as well. Come back more often, ya!

Sigh, saying goodbye has never bode well with me. But this is more of a "see you soon" kind of situation. At least, I'd like to think of it that way. 'Absence makes the heart grow fonder', which is quite true indeed.

Visibly Invisible

2005-06-28T09:40:00.001+08:00

This song was shared with me by a dear brother-in-Christ quite some time ago, and I happened to review the song again today. It spoke to me at the time when I was first introduced to the song and it still speaks to me time and time again. The message is simple, are we portraying God justly in the eyes of the lost? God created us in His image, and in His image, we are to be like Him.

I've always wondered, do people see God in me, in the way I speak, in the way I carry myself, in the way I react or don't react to circumstances and situations thrown at me, in my friendships and relationships with friends and family? I struggle but I know not to struggle for His grace is sufficient for me. It is also sufficient for you.

God is love. Unconditional love. And, I guess, in order for people to see God in us, we must also learn to love, unconditionally.

For Who He Really Is - Steven Curtis Chapman

"Too many hypocrites," I heard her say,

"I even saw it in the headlines today;

How can I follow God when His own people turn away?"

"Nobody's perfect but I just want to see

Somebody living what they say they believe;

If they've got all this world needs like they say,

I wonder why won't they give some away."

Can she see God for who He really is

In what she sees in you and me?

Can she see God for who He really is,

For who He really is, is all she really needs to see.

He slips into church and he puts up his guard;

They look so happy but his life's been so hard.

He keeps his distance so they won't see the scars;

It's just religion that's all dressed up in white,

And "God is love as long as you're living right."

But does he know that Jesus also has scars,

And His love can reach Him no matter how far.

Can he see God for who He really is

In what he sees in you and me?

Can he see God for who He really is,

For who He really is, is all he really needs to see.

The skeptics are watching to see who will fall,

While those disillusioned search for the Truth in it all;

Maybe today we'll cross their paths unaware,

And they'll stop and look at us. What will be there?

Will they see God for who He really is

In what they see in you and me?

Will they see God for who He really is,

For who He really is, is all they really need to see.

Song Of The Day

2005-06-27T10:18:00.001+08:00

Ever had a song or two on your lips or in your head at the start of the day? Actually, I had this song in my heart yesterday evening, standing on top of a rock up a hill overlooking the coastal line in Batu Ferringhi. It just came to me and it's still stuck in my head today. It's a wonderful song. A song about safety and security. As humans, we tend to want to run away from the things that are hurting us, confusing us or distracting us. This song, is a song about running to the One who has always had His arms open for us, just waiting patiently for us to go near to Him.

Secret Place

Lord of my life I love You
Lord of my days I trust in You
Living beneath the shelter of Your wings
My heart's safe

For when I am lost You find me
When I'm in need You shelter me
Lord of my life
You are my Secret Place

Clothe me in Your presence Lord
Draw me near to You
All my heart I long to give to You
Living to be near You Lord
I long to see Your face
Lord forever You're my Secret Place

You're my peace, You're my rest
You're my Secret Place

It has not been an easy journey, to reach to the point where I don't rely on what I can do, but more of what God can do. Many times, I've rejoiced alone or with my friends but not with God. Many times, I've kept all my hurts to myself or share it with a few friends but not with God.

I'm learning to rely more on Him now. It's still not that regular, but it's coming along slowly. Running away or being in denial is pretty much the normal thing to do, but it won't be as effective as running to Him who can help you in ways better than any friend could.

Have a great week ahead.

(Editor's Note: I'll try to make this as a series, if possible. Be blessed!)

Unfortunately.....

2005-06-26T23:21:00.001+08:00

I've just found out from my friend that I'm UNABLE to go for the seminar in Singapore ("Romance, Courtship and Marriage") because apparently, I would've had to have a partner in order to sign up for it. As most of you know, I'm currently and unabashedly single! Yeah, unabashedly..... There's nothing wrong with being single. In fact, it gives you the freedom to get to know your surroundings, mingle around with people and just enjoy singlehood.

I know my partner will come. It's just a matter of WHO, WHEN and WHERE!

I'm still hoping that I MIGHT be able to get to the seminar to learn a few things. If anyone is open to me using your name, let me know!

I'm just kidding.....

The Businessman and The Fisherman

2005-06-24T14:13:00.001+08:00

I just got this off an e-mail sent to me by a colleague. Interesting read.....

There was once an American businessman who was sitting by the beach in a small Mexican village. As he sat, he saw a Mexican fisherman rowing a small boat towards the shore. He noticed that the fisherman had caught quite a number of big fishes known to be a delicacy. The American was really impressed and asked the fisherman, "How long does it take you to catch so many fishes?"

The fisherman reply; "Oh, just a short while."

The businessman was astonished.

"Then, why don't you stay longer at sea and you could catch even more?"

The fisherman simply does not agree, "This is enough to feed my whole family", he replied.

The businessman then asked: "So, what do you do for the rest of the day then?"

The fisherman replied: "Well, I usually wake up early in the morning, go out to sea and catch a few fishes, then I would come back and play with my kids. In the afternoon, I will take a nap with my wife. When evening comes, I will join my buddies in the village for a drink. We play guitar, sing and dance throughout the night. My day is ever so complete and carefree."

The businessman does not agree with the fisherman's way of life and offered a suggestion to the fisherman.

"I am a PhD holder graduated from Harvard University, specialises in business management. I could help you to become a more successful person. From now on, you have to spend more time at sea and try to catch as many fishes as possible. And when you have saved enough money, you could buy a bigger boat and catch even more fishes. As you go on, you will be able to afford to buy more boats, recruit more fishermen and lead a team of your own. Soon you will be able to set-up your own company, your very own production plant for canned food and do direct selling to your distributors. At that time, you will have moved out of this village and to Mexico City. And then expand your operation to LA and finally to New York city, where you can set-up your HQ to manage all your other branches."

The fisherman asks, "So, how long would that take?"

The businessman reply: "About 15 to 20 years."

The fisherman continued, "And after that?"

The businessman laughed heartily, " After that, you can live like a king in your own house. When the time is right, you can go public and float your shares in the Stock Exchange. You will be rich, your income will be coming in by the millions!"

The fisherman asked, "And after that?"

The businessman said, " After that, you can finally retire. You can move to a house by the fishing village, wake up early in the morning and catch a few fishes. Then return home to play with the kids and have a nice afternoon nap with your wife. When evening comes, you can join your buddies for a drink, play the guitar, sing and dance throughout the night!"

The fisherman was puzzled, "Isn't that what I am doing now?"

So, what does one really hope to achieve in life?
Do we really need to work SO hard in life?
What do you hope to accomplish in the end?

Marriage 101

2005-06-24T09:40:00.001+08:00

I watched Mr. & Mrs. Smith, starring Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, a couple of nights ago with a group of church friends. I'd have to say, however action-packed their life is like, (mind you, it IS!) and dangerous, I thought that was a cool couple right there. I quoted to a friend that I wouldn't mind having THAT kind of marriage! Only the action and the secret compartments part, not the 'married to a stranger' part!

I don't know about you guys, but, until I'm proven wrong, I'd like to KNOW who my future spouse would be first BEFORE taking the plunge. Know as in REALLY know him; his background, his family, his friends, his habits (good and bad), his thoughts, his life. Literally, KNOW him! I mean, 'love at first sight' is very romantic, and though I can't say that I'm totally against it; realistically, I'm not all FOR it either.

My idea of a good marriage is that really basic yet strong foundation found in being friends first. When you get married, you don't LOSE a friend, you GAIN a lifetime companion and THAT is something worth working toward. A couple cannot be a "couple" until they've had their first major argument and learn to settle things amicably and still live through another day without carrying the grudges of that argument. (Uh-huh, that's MY side of it and I'm sticking to it!)

Funny I should be talking about this, as I'm looking forward to travelling down South to Singapore to listen in on a seminar on "Romance, Courtship and Marriage". It's not a bad thing to gain information on Godly relationships. I am totally up for it, like, totally, dude!

Welcome! Bienvenue! Wilkommen! Selamat Datang!

2005-06-24T09:14:00.002+08:00

Welcome to another blog of mine, which is less havoc-wreaking than the other one, although they BOTH reflect who I am, a bit. Anyway, this is going to be a bit more relaxing, less mind-boggling (language AND content) and just nice enough for a little light reading, I hope. Do leave comments as I go along, because I appreciate feedback. It helps me improve. Improve on what, we shall see.