Keys To My Heart? Hmm.....

Interesting Observation.....

The Keys to Your Heart

You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now.

What Are The Keys To Your Heart?

Procrastination Results In Nothingness

OK, my fault. I haven't been writing in a long while and I admit that I have been "putting off 'til tomorrow what I can do today." Guilty as charged! That and I haven't been focusing on what to write on for the past couple of months.

But seeing as today is the 4th Thursday of November, which means, it is Thanksgiving Day in the US of A so I would like to write a bit about the things that I'm grateful for that I have not been giving thanks for, or rather, occasionally taken for granted of.

The gift of Family - I still have a place I call home, sisters that are now very high tech that we no longer speak that much in person but more often online. A Mom who surprises me with the occasional quirky comment or even an introduction to a different broadband company that I personally haven't even heard of! Aunties that are like second mothers, really. Family, don't you just love them?

The gift of Friends - They come in different characters and personalities, different roles (ie. funny friends, parental figures, sports activity friends, spiritual guides, etc.....), sometimes they clash with mine, other times, we just get on really well, but, all in all, without them, I'd have to say that life would not be as fun as it is right now, even though there are times I'd sing "Can't live with you, can't live without you". How true, though.

The gift of Food - Nothing beats the selections that we, Malaysians, have been pampered with for years! A good beef rendang still hits the spot as well as sushi, we've got local food and international food, so much so that we are truly spoiled for choice. I have to say, to be able to see food, smell food, taste food and digest food is something to be thankful for.

The gift of Providence - I still have a job, whereby, at times I would absolutely abhor my superior, but ultimately, it pays the bills and supports my lifestyle (which isn't that lavish, mind you) and my weekends are off limits for more important activities.

The gift of Time - As much as 24 hours may not seem enough sometimes, I'm glad that I am still able to give my time to do things necessary and spend it on people as well.

The gift of Talent - Even though I don't see it yet others seem to, I guess I've been blessed with the gift of being able to learn things quite fast and having a wide interest in all things related to music, language and the likes. (Funny how I still prefer being in the Science field!)

The gift of a Special Buddy - For those of you who know me well enough will know that I'm unattached, so, don't start getting any ideas. I just want to tell my Buddy that I appreciate our friendship very much, through the rough patches as well as the smooth roads. God couldn't have given me a better friend, that's for sure.

The gift of Life - Need I say more? I am complete in Him, my sins are washed away by His blood, my days couldn't be any brighter, my future is safe in His hands, everything I need will be provided.

I have a few more that I can't seem to be able to put into words, but just in case you see something missing, the gift of Celibacy is not going to be here, at least, I don't think so, but I could be wrong. *grin*

Have a Happy Thanksgiving Day! Many blessings!

Alone Yet Happy!

Before you start getting any ideas, this is not about being single, unattached or whatnot in a worldly view. It's all about the essence of walking with Jesus on a daily basis, in anything and everything that you do. I would like to think that I'm teachable, therefore, if you find that my thoughts are not completely correct, then, by all means, do let me know.

I still remember my testimony when I first shared it with the congregation upon recommitting my life to Jesus, somewhere in November of 2002. I believe that my testimony was not really from the flesh because I knew I couldn't have thought about that all by myself. I understood, back then, the concept of carrying the Cross. The concept of the journey that awaits every believer.

I remember that one point very clear: Go after Jesus alone. Alone. Gee..... honestly, in the human sense, alone sounds, uhm..... lonely. But I get the point, I really do. In this context, I've realized that my walk with Christ is truly my own journey alone with Christ. I can't have someone else walk down the path He has set for me. It is my journey, my walk, my life. Sounds selfish, but in all accounts, it is. It is an exclusive relationship that one has with our Maker. Each is different, each is important but none is more important than the next, for God loves us each unconditionally.

I was at a low point recently and I deliberately avoided the crowd. Deliberately. Some parts of me may have wanted to 'test waters' and see who would reach out and come get me, but mainly, I needed to be alone, or at least, to know what being alone feels like. It is seriously not too bad. In my standards, the 'test waters' part failed because my expectations were not met, but I was truly comforted in my alone time. How? I was assured, that in the event that people did not come for me, or stopped coming for me, Jesus came and would still come for me, time and time again.

I was alone in my humanness but not alone in my spirit. All in all, I've realized the need to be alone, in the Secret Place, where my heart meets with God and where I am assured that no matter how alone I may feel, it is just a feeling, not a reality, for He is with me; always has and always will be.

Be encouraged, you are never alone. God bless.

Running Away (Part Deux)

Yup, this time, I finally ran away for a bit. A tiring but exciting one-day trip down south to the capital of Malaysia, Kuala Lumpur. I was already planning on going down for just one day because a friend of mine was already in KL and I thought, maybe I could hitch a ride back with him. Turns out, early Friday morning, my other friend called up and said, "Shall we?"

Well, why not?

So, immediately after home group, we went over to my house, I got packed (well, what's there to pack for a one-day trip that doesn't even require staying in?) and then headed for the bus station. We hoped for a better bus, but the one that we got, thank God, still managed to get us there safely, so no complaints there.

Our bus left at 11.45pm, got us there at 4.30am. Literally, too early for any public transportation, so we decided to just walk to the nearest train station and waited until 6am. It was still hazy in KL and it was slowly killing my throat. (I'm battling with a cough now!) We met up with a cousin of my friend's, got some breakfast, went over to their house for a quick shower and change and then headed for a long drive around the Prime Minister's office grounds, HUGE ground. Finally met up with our friend that was already in KL, ate at Chili's! Yippee! After 2 years, I think it was a long awaited trip to Chili's. Well worth the RM60 I spent for lunch! Ribs, chicken breast (grilled to perfection), chocolate fudge/brownie topped with vanilla ice cream and finally, not forgetting, the chili itself. I was in chili heaven, really.

Anyway, drooling aside, we spent 2 hours at Chili's and then went shopping before meeting up with a couple of friends studying in KL and then headed home with my friend in his car.

Ultimately, it was a tiring, but interesting time. If I hadn't gotten sick, I think I would've enjoyed it much better, but, all in all, it was still a good time of fellowship and great food. I don't think I had dinner after that trip to Chili's.

I'm looking forward to a longer, exciting trip. I mean, this was out of the norm but life shouldn't get too monotonous and scheduled anyway. Looking forward to more excursions, I hope it'll come soon. Now it's time to gain back the hours of sleep I've lost on the trip.

Song Of The Season

This is part of my "Song of the Day" theme, but this is what I feel for now. It's my song of the season. I'm tired of a lot of things. Basically, I'm really tired. I'm not satisfied. Not at all. There's more to life and I know that He will reveal it in His time. But right now, I want to be hungry, I want to be thirsty. I want nothing of this world to ever have a hold on me except Jesus; my Saviour, my Redeemer, my Solid Rock, my Shelter and my Strength.

I'm tired of losing my reason for living. I don't want to lose my focus anymore. This song is my cry, my cry for a better future in Christ. Don't be content, continue to hunger and thirst for Him.

Believe - Hillsong

I say on Sunday how much I want revival

But then on Monday, I can't even find my Bible

Where's the power, the power of the Cross in my life?

I'm sick of playing the game of religion

I'm tired of losing my reason for living

Where's the power, the power of the Cross in my life?

I'm not content just to walk through my life

Giving in to the lies, walking in compromises now

We cry out as a generation that was lost

But now is found in the power of the Cross

We believe in You

We believe in the power of Your Word and its Truth

We believe in You

So we lay down our cause

That our Cross might be found in You

I'm not satisfied doing it my own way

I'm not satisfied to 'do church' and walk away

I'm not satisfied

There's no love in my life but You

I'm not satisfied living in yesterday's hour

I'm not satisfied to have the form but not the Power

I'm not satisfied

Lord, I am crucified in You

I'm not satisfied. And I'm not content just to walk through life as it is. There is more.

Running Away

"I'm leaving on a jetplane, I don't know when I'll be back again." Sigh..... How I wished that was true. Yeah, I'm on my 'slump' again. The 'slump' of wanting to go some place else and rejuvenate myself. I think I'm either too filled with the monotony of my life cycle, or I'm an almost-empty vessel giving too much of myself to too many things.

I think I'm a little bit of both. I am tired of my weekly cycle, it's not really 'exciting' anymore. I mean, it's sort of expected, in some ways. I usually know what's happening on most days that I don't get 'swept off my feet' over anything, well, at least not yet. On the other hand, I've been active in quite a few things that now, I feel like sitting back and not do anything but watch from the stands.

Hmm..... Maybe I'm being surrounded by too many people whom, at one point or another, are travelling to places or have just finished their travels. I wonder when my turn is going to come. My friends tell me to wait. Just wait. I've waited for close to 2 years already, but that's solely because I am dead set on going to one place only. I need a break, or so I think I do. The question is: When?

Walkin' On Heels

I have an interesting job. Interesting as in, I never knew that I would actually patrol the grounds of my company. I had the obvious displeasure (you'll see why) of patrolling the grounds with my company's security guard today, mainly because I'm taking over my officer's job functions. It's not hard to patrol the grounds as there are only 5 checkpoints. The only mention is, I was wearing heels that day. It's not high, but bad enough to cause discomfort, particularly on rocky tar roads, steep inclines, staircases and grassy patches. Also, not when the ground is wet, as it just rained earlier in the morning.

I wish I could have done this on another day when I'm wearing sports shoes, but that's not the case. It's not like I'm patrolling the grounds everyday, anyway. I sure hope not.

Do You See What I See?

The haze hit Penang Friday night after KL area was hit at the beginning of the week. It's not a pretty sight, as you can tell from the picture. It's actually a shot from my apartment room window. On a good day, you can actually see green mountains. As you can tell, you could only see within a mile radius. This was Saturday morning.





As for this one, it's suppose to overlook the ocean and the Penang Bridge. Nope, can't see anything.

I Drive Myself Crazy

My sister asked me the most fascinating question when I put this up on my MSN the other day; "I Drive Myself Crazy". How so?

Well, I thought I'd explain the reason behind that. Ever heard of the sentence "You Drive Me Crazy"? Unless you've been living in a cave, that title was also a hit song for a certain Britney Spears. Anyway, it brings me back to this, can people actually drive me crazy? Technically, maybe, but more so than not, it is myself that allows me to be driven to the point of insanity. Not following me?

See, no one controls your feelings except you. No one controls your emotions except you. No one controls your mind, your thoughts, your perceptions except you. Getting the point already? I thought so. Basically, if you're thinking too much about something that you shouldn't be thinking about, you're bound to drive yourself crazy. The same goes with worrying too much about things not meant to be worried about, imagining things that aren't there to be imagined.

We can't help but think of things, that is the function of our brain, but we can help limit it by removing unnecessary thoughts and perceptions. It is easier said than done, oh, for sure, but when your focus is correct, it will not be too hard. Remember, God will not overwhelm us. If we only look to Him more and more, surrender our thoughts and worries to Him, only then will we be enlightened and not burdened.

Song Of The Day

I was chatting with a friend and playing a selection of songs on my computer and this song, of all the other songs, attracted me the most. It is a song of acknowledgement. To acknowledge the One who saved me, the One who carries me through every joy and every hurt. It's a song of surrender, to let go, to trust and have faith in the One and Only.

I think this song will speak for itself and needs no explanation. I'm learning to trust my whole life to Him who walks before me, for He knows my name and He knows my every thought and desire. He's all I need.

Jesus, You're All I Need

Jesus, You're all I need

You're all I need

Now I give my life to You alone

You are all I need

Jesus, You're all I need

You're all I need

Lord, You gave Yourself so I could live

You are all I need

Oh, You purchased my salvation

And wiped away my tears

Now I drink Your living waters

And I'll never thirst again

For You alone are holy

I'll worship at Your throne

And You will reign forever

Holy is the Lord