OK, part deux.
Being unemployed in Malaysia is not like being unemployed in the US. At least, they have unemployment benefits. Over here, we pretty much have unemployment debts. When you don't earn money but still have to spend, you're just incurring debts. And incurring debts, I did. It was quite a lot that I actually didn't know how I would settle it. (OK, it's much easier to owe Mom than to owe the "Ah Longs", but still...)
One thing I learned from this is to trust God for His faithfulness. I can say that my debts were cleared not once, but twice this year. The first one was written off and the second one was settled within a couple of months after I started work. Best still, I now have surplus. Imagine being worse than broke and now having more than enough.
I've also learned not to worry too much about finances. Matthew 6: 25 - 34 puts a lot of things into perspective. I trust that I'll be able to get that computer upgrade and that digital camera in due time. *wink*
Friday, December 28, 2007
Thursday, December 27, 2007
Countdown to 2008 - Chapter 1
Let's see... Ah, yes, end December 2006 up to early April 2007 was when my sister, my 3 adorable nieces and my best-est little sister, Allora, came to visit us here in Penang. (Allora stayed only up till January 2007, but then my brother-in-law came in late March). At the same time, I was also jobless and frankly speaking, a little depressed and feeling rather hopeless. But during this time, I was able to spend time with them, travel with them and play with them, so, it was a blessing in disguise for me.
To be honest with you, I did wonder how I was going to spend time with them if I was working then and could only come back home after work, but God knew what to do. Being jobless and income-less is not fun at all (don't even try it if you're not financially prepared to), but I think God knew what I really wanted, which was time for them. And the best part of it all? Right about the time they were about to go back home, I got a job offer that started about a week or two after they left. If that's not God's timing, I don't know what else to define it.
It worked so well, I couldn't have planned it better myself. In fact, I didn't. I wasn't the one who initiated my resignation (truth be told) and I wasn't the one who found the job either. This has truly taught me that God is not one minute too early nor a second too late, but just right on time.
To be honest with you, I did wonder how I was going to spend time with them if I was working then and could only come back home after work, but God knew what to do. Being jobless and income-less is not fun at all (don't even try it if you're not financially prepared to), but I think God knew what I really wanted, which was time for them. And the best part of it all? Right about the time they were about to go back home, I got a job offer that started about a week or two after they left. If that's not God's timing, I don't know what else to define it.
It worked so well, I couldn't have planned it better myself. In fact, I didn't. I wasn't the one who initiated my resignation (truth be told) and I wasn't the one who found the job either. This has truly taught me that God is not one minute too early nor a second too late, but just right on time.
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
Countdown to 2008 - An Introduction
OK, I haven't written an entry in a LONG while. I don't know if anyone still visits, but hey, who knows...
Anyway, it's Boxing Day today, which means, Christmas day is over, which means, there's only 1, 2, 3... err, 5 days to the last day of December, which means, 2007 will be over in less than a week. Wow, too much Mathematics! I think I've done my counting for the month.
Looking back, though, I think 2007 has been a significant year so far. It started off with my second sister, my 'best-est' little sister from the US (Allora) and my three nieces ringing in the new year with us here in Penang; to getting a great job in April; to witnessing how God has been faithful in every step of the way - whether in church, at work or even in my own life; to seeing a very precious sister-in-Christ begin a new chapter in life - marriage; as well as walking down life's path with the Lord.
I can't say I can remember all that has happened in 2007 but in the next few entries (I hope!), I'll try to look back on how life has been for me. Stay tuned.
Anyway, it's Boxing Day today, which means, Christmas day is over, which means, there's only 1, 2, 3... err, 5 days to the last day of December, which means, 2007 will be over in less than a week. Wow, too much Mathematics! I think I've done my counting for the month.
Looking back, though, I think 2007 has been a significant year so far. It started off with my second sister, my 'best-est' little sister from the US (Allora) and my three nieces ringing in the new year with us here in Penang; to getting a great job in April; to witnessing how God has been faithful in every step of the way - whether in church, at work or even in my own life; to seeing a very precious sister-in-Christ begin a new chapter in life - marriage; as well as walking down life's path with the Lord.
I can't say I can remember all that has happened in 2007 but in the next few entries (I hope!), I'll try to look back on how life has been for me. Stay tuned.
Friday, August 18, 2006
Hapless Romantic
Call me a hapless romantic, but wouldn't you JUST melt if the guy of your dreams happen to write something as BEAUTIFUL as this? I get goosebumps reading it and listening to the song. OK, maybe the melody isn't as beautiful as the poem itself, but it gets the "Ahhhh..... (I'm melting!)" vote from me. Let me just give you a background on this guy, some of you just MIGHT know him. He's Ryan and he's a firefighter from Colorado, he's tall, cute, and romantic. The 'drats!' factor is that he's married. Sigh..... There has to be more men like him out there! Manly yet romantic. Masculine but in touch with his emotions. Feel the love.....
Something About Her
Here I am, not knowing where I stand
Here I am, looking for a place to land
My heart in the palm of her hand
A boy dying to be her man
Between tomorrow and yesterday
What I really want to say
Is that I'm falling for something about her
She is to me the rainbow through the rain
She is to me the laughter through the pain
Like sugar from the cane,
directly through my veins
She's living in my dreams
She's a vision, and it seems
That I'm falling for something about her
My life has been a ship sailing sea to sea
My life has been completely set free
Moments of ecstasy, all I could hope it to be
Now with her I'd like to share
To show her how much I care
'Cause I'm falling for something about her
I'd like to say I'll love her night and day
I'd like to say I'll never turn away
Forever, come what may
By her side I'll always stay
She's every star that's in the sky
Every glimmer in my eye
And I'm falling for something about her
And his other poem:
Here I am, looking for a place to land
My heart in the palm of her hand
A boy dying to be her man
Between tomorrow and yesterday
What I really want to say
Is that I'm falling for something about her
She is to me the rainbow through the rain
She is to me the laughter through the pain
Like sugar from the cane,
directly through my veins
She's living in my dreams
She's a vision, and it seems
That I'm falling for something about her
My life has been a ship sailing sea to sea
My life has been completely set free
Moments of ecstasy, all I could hope it to be
Now with her I'd like to share
To show her how much I care
'Cause I'm falling for something about her
I'd like to say I'll love her night and day
I'd like to say I'll never turn away
Forever, come what may
By her side I'll always stay
She's every star that's in the sky
Every glimmer in my eye
And I'm falling for something about her
And his other poem:
Imagine a place fit for angels
Where laughter fills the air.
The whole place fresh and clean,
Smells like it just washed its hair.
Flowers paint the landscape,
Waters run crystal clear.
Gentle summer breezes,
Whisper music in your ear.
A place where dreams come true,
Every wish is granted.
Days of active splendor,
Moonlit nights enchanted.
Imagine this place of endless beauty,
And know that it doesn't compare,
To the moment I stepped out into the night,
And saw you standing there.
Sigh.....
Where laughter fills the air.
The whole place fresh and clean,
Smells like it just washed its hair.
Flowers paint the landscape,
Waters run crystal clear.
Gentle summer breezes,
Whisper music in your ear.
A place where dreams come true,
Every wish is granted.
Days of active splendor,
Moonlit nights enchanted.
Imagine this place of endless beauty,
And know that it doesn't compare,
To the moment I stepped out into the night,
And saw you standing there.
Sigh.....
*Poems by Ryan Sutter
Tuesday, June 06, 2006
Desperate Plea
Don't tell the police but I wrote this as I was driving to work this morning. I typed it into my phone and saved it as I haven't mastered the art of writing with pen and paper while driving, not that I intend to. It's a continuation of my previous entry, as I still feel like Dave, the one who's stuck in the desert, not the one who defeated the Giant Pickle.
All of a sudden, I felt as though I was David, the Psalmist. Interesting.
Crying out to God in the car is nothing new to me. In fact, apart from the 'throne room' (ahem), the other place I feel really comfortable praying in is driving my car on the road alone. Today, the words just kept coming. It's not a 'new concept', I think it's pretty much everyone's plea at one time or another but it was my plea for this time and 'position' that I'm in.
I'm still struggling where I am, but at the end of the day, I know I will make it through. He will pull me through.
All of a sudden, I felt as though I was David, the Psalmist. Interesting.
Crying out to God in the car is nothing new to me. In fact, apart from the 'throne room' (ahem), the other place I feel really comfortable praying in is driving my car on the road alone. Today, the words just kept coming. It's not a 'new concept', I think it's pretty much everyone's plea at one time or another but it was my plea for this time and 'position' that I'm in.
I'm still struggling where I am, but at the end of the day, I know I will make it through. He will pull me through.
You are my Strength and my Shelter
When I'm not able to stand
You are my Healer and Protector
With You, I'm on the mend
You are the Author and Creator
My life is in Your hands
What more can I ask, Lord
But to seek Your face?
What more can I do
But to rest in the Secret Place?
What more can I give?
I will lay it at Your feet
I will lay it at Your feet
Lord, take hold of me
And make me complete
Author: Me
Monday, June 05, 2006
Big Leagues and Little Leagues
I wish I was talking about baseball instead, sounds like it, doesn't it?
This is something I've struggled with for the past week. Something that I feel guilty about yet at the same time, a bit disgruntled. OK, a lot more disgruntled than I let out. Something that I think God's trying to teach me. Patience..... (Now, that's a scary word!) and my motives for doing things.
I'm reminded of the VeggieTales' take on the story of David and Goliath. Dave and the Giant Pickle, to be exact. Yes, I agree, its outline is a bit unusual, but the gist of it remains. At this point in time, I'm pretty much like Dave in the desert, running around, picking up sheep off the ground, not doing anything "significant" or to be more precise, not involved in anything more significant than the brothers would let. And yes, singing the song "Why can't little guys do big things too....?"
Then, of course, you know how the story goes. Dave gallantly fights the Giant Pickle, with 5 stones in his hand, a sling and God on his side, the Giant came tumbling down. Everyone cheers and the little guy got to do the big thing that he's been wanting to do and have been singing about.
I haven't had my Goliath yet, at least, I think I haven't. I'm still stuck in that desert wishing to do more than I think I should be doing. I can do great things too, I'm capable. I can fight Goliaths, I can take on big things, I should be taking on big things. But ultimately, the questions that surfaced are: Yes, I am more than capable of taking things on, but to whose glory will I credit it to; myself or God? To whose righteousness am I standing on; my own or His Righteousness? To whose strength am I relying on; my own human strength or God's abundant strength?
It's no fun picking up sheep in the desert. No fun at all when everyone you know is out there planning on how to defeat Goliath. Doing the big things and not being involved.
But I would rather fight my Goliaths with God on my side than on my own with no one else around. So if it means having to put up with picking up sheep in the desert, I'll do it. If Dave gets the Giant Pickle to pick on in the end, I will have my own as well, in His time. Impatience comes easier than patience, the waiting game is the hardest to play, but in His time, there will be a chance for me.
This is something I've struggled with for the past week. Something that I feel guilty about yet at the same time, a bit disgruntled. OK, a lot more disgruntled than I let out. Something that I think God's trying to teach me. Patience..... (Now, that's a scary word!) and my motives for doing things.
I'm reminded of the VeggieTales' take on the story of David and Goliath. Dave and the Giant Pickle, to be exact. Yes, I agree, its outline is a bit unusual, but the gist of it remains. At this point in time, I'm pretty much like Dave in the desert, running around, picking up sheep off the ground, not doing anything "significant" or to be more precise, not involved in anything more significant than the brothers would let. And yes, singing the song "Why can't little guys do big things too....?"
Then, of course, you know how the story goes. Dave gallantly fights the Giant Pickle, with 5 stones in his hand, a sling and God on his side, the Giant came tumbling down. Everyone cheers and the little guy got to do the big thing that he's been wanting to do and have been singing about.
I haven't had my Goliath yet, at least, I think I haven't. I'm still stuck in that desert wishing to do more than I think I should be doing. I can do great things too, I'm capable. I can fight Goliaths, I can take on big things, I should be taking on big things. But ultimately, the questions that surfaced are: Yes, I am more than capable of taking things on, but to whose glory will I credit it to; myself or God? To whose righteousness am I standing on; my own or His Righteousness? To whose strength am I relying on; my own human strength or God's abundant strength?
It's no fun picking up sheep in the desert. No fun at all when everyone you know is out there planning on how to defeat Goliath. Doing the big things and not being involved.
But I would rather fight my Goliaths with God on my side than on my own with no one else around. So if it means having to put up with picking up sheep in the desert, I'll do it. If Dave gets the Giant Pickle to pick on in the end, I will have my own as well, in His time. Impatience comes easier than patience, the waiting game is the hardest to play, but in His time, there will be a chance for me.
Friday, May 05, 2006
God Is In Control
Ever felt like life had passed you by without so much as a whistle? Ever felt useless because good things seem to happen to people around you but not yourself even though you've tried hard? Ever felt as though you are inferior to the next person because you are not getting what they are getting or going through what they are going through?
I had that feeling not too long ago. In fact, I've had that feeling before quite a few times in my life. I bet you, I might feel that way in the future but I'll worry for today and not tomorrow. Actually, I don't really want to worry anymore. It's not in my position to worry about things that I can't control.
Feelings of being passed by are just that, mere feelings. Partially attributed to being discontent or worse, envy. (Eek!) I've come to realize that things happen for a reason, things DON'T happen for a reason, and there's a season for things to happen and a season for things NOT to happen. Confused? Don't be.
I came across this song as I was having my own pity party in my room the other day. A song that I wouldn't have played on my computer if I didn't feel a little nudge of interest to LISTEN to the album in the first place. (It's one of those subtle signs that God knows what to do when I don't know what to do.) It was the first song on the album and the only one that had a lot of airtime because I got too caught up in the song to listen to the others. Here's a snippet:
God is in control
Things happen for a reason, things DON'T happen for a reason. Nevertheless, I will not be forsaken, I will not be forgotten. I do not have to worry, I do not need to feel jealous. I just have to choose to remember that He is in control.
It doesn't mean that God has passed you by if other people around you seem to be heading in the directions that you want to head yet you're still stuck at where you are at the moment. It just means He probably has a different direction for you or it is just not the time yet. God is in control. Just choose to remember that.
He has never let you down
I had that feeling not too long ago. In fact, I've had that feeling before quite a few times in my life. I bet you, I might feel that way in the future but I'll worry for today and not tomorrow. Actually, I don't really want to worry anymore. It's not in my position to worry about things that I can't control.
Feelings of being passed by are just that, mere feelings. Partially attributed to being discontent or worse, envy. (Eek!) I've come to realize that things happen for a reason, things DON'T happen for a reason, and there's a season for things to happen and a season for things NOT to happen. Confused? Don't be.
I came across this song as I was having my own pity party in my room the other day. A song that I wouldn't have played on my computer if I didn't feel a little nudge of interest to LISTEN to the album in the first place. (It's one of those subtle signs that God knows what to do when I don't know what to do.) It was the first song on the album and the only one that had a lot of airtime because I got too caught up in the song to listen to the others. Here's a snippet:
God is in control
We believe that His children will not be forsaken
God is in control
God is in control
We will choose to remember and never be shaken
There is no power above or beside Him
We know, oh, God is in control
Oh, God is in control
Things happen for a reason, things DON'T happen for a reason. Nevertheless, I will not be forsaken, I will not be forgotten. I do not have to worry, I do not need to feel jealous. I just have to choose to remember that He is in control.
It doesn't mean that God has passed you by if other people around you seem to be heading in the directions that you want to head yet you're still stuck at where you are at the moment. It just means He probably has a different direction for you or it is just not the time yet. God is in control. Just choose to remember that.
I'm trying.
He has never let you down
Why start to worry now?
Why start to worry now?
He is still the Lord of all we see
And He is still the loving Father
Watching over you and me
*God Is In Control - Twila Paris
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Keys To My Heart? Hmm.....
Interesting Observation.....
| The Keys to Your Heart |
 You are attracted to those who are unbridled, untrammeled, and free. In love, you feel the most alive when things are straight-forward, and you're told that you're loved. You'd like to your lover to think you are loyal and faithful... that you'll never change. You would be forced to break up with someone who was emotional, moody, and difficult to please. Your ideal relationship is traditional. Without saying anything, both of you communicate with your hearts. Your risk of cheating is zero. You care about society and morality. You would never break a commitment. You think of marriage as something precious. You'll treasure marriage and treat it as sacred. In this moment, you think of love as something you don't need. You just feel like flirting around and playing right now. |
Thursday, November 24, 2005
Procrastination Results In Nothingness
OK, my fault. I haven't been writing in a long while and I admit that I have been "putting off 'til tomorrow what I can do today." Guilty as charged! That and I haven't been focusing on what to write on for the past couple of months.
But seeing as today is the 4th Thursday of November, which means, it is Thanksgiving Day in the US of A so I would like to write a bit about the things that I'm grateful for that I have not been giving thanks for, or rather, occasionally taken for granted of.
The gift of Family - I still have a place I call home, sisters that are now very high tech that we no longer speak that much in person but more often online. A Mom who surprises me with the occasional quirky comment or even an introduction to a different broadband company that I personally haven't even heard of! Aunties that are like second mothers, really. Family, don't you just love them?
The gift of Friends - They come in different characters and personalities, different roles (ie. funny friends, parental figures, sports activity friends, spiritual guides, etc.....), sometimes they clash with mine, other times, we just get on really well, but, all in all, without them, I'd have to say that life would not be as fun as it is right now, even though there are times I'd sing "Can't live with you, can't live without you". How true, though.
The gift of Food - Nothing beats the selections that we, Malaysians, have been pampered with for years! A good beef rendang still hits the spot as well as sushi, we've got local food and international food, so much so that we are truly spoiled for choice. I have to say, to be able to see food, smell food, taste food and digest food is something to be thankful for.
The gift of Providence - I still have a job, whereby, at times I would absolutely abhor my superior, but ultimately, it pays the bills and supports my lifestyle (which isn't that lavish, mind you) and my weekends are off limits for more important activities.
The gift of Time - As much as 24 hours may not seem enough sometimes, I'm glad that I am still able to give my time to do things necessary and spend it on people as well.
The gift of Talent - Even though I don't see it yet others seem to, I guess I've been blessed with the gift of being able to learn things quite fast and having a wide interest in all things related to music, language and the likes. (Funny how I still prefer being in the Science field!)
The gift of a Special Buddy - For those of you who know me well enough will know that I'm unattached, so, don't start getting any ideas. I just want to tell my Buddy that I appreciate our friendship very much, through the rough patches as well as the smooth roads. God couldn't have given me a better friend, that's for sure.
The gift of Life - Need I say more? I am complete in Him, my sins are washed away by His blood, my days couldn't be any brighter, my future is safe in His hands, everything I need will be provided.
I have a few more that I can't seem to be able to put into words, but just in case you see something missing, the gift of Celibacy is not going to be here, at least, I don't think so, but I could be wrong. *grin*
Have a Happy Thanksgiving Day! Many blessings!
But seeing as today is the 4th Thursday of November, which means, it is Thanksgiving Day in the US of A so I would like to write a bit about the things that I'm grateful for that I have not been giving thanks for, or rather, occasionally taken for granted of.
The gift of Family - I still have a place I call home, sisters that are now very high tech that we no longer speak that much in person but more often online. A Mom who surprises me with the occasional quirky comment or even an introduction to a different broadband company that I personally haven't even heard of! Aunties that are like second mothers, really. Family, don't you just love them?
The gift of Friends - They come in different characters and personalities, different roles (ie. funny friends, parental figures, sports activity friends, spiritual guides, etc.....), sometimes they clash with mine, other times, we just get on really well, but, all in all, without them, I'd have to say that life would not be as fun as it is right now, even though there are times I'd sing "Can't live with you, can't live without you". How true, though.
The gift of Food - Nothing beats the selections that we, Malaysians, have been pampered with for years! A good beef rendang still hits the spot as well as sushi, we've got local food and international food, so much so that we are truly spoiled for choice. I have to say, to be able to see food, smell food, taste food and digest food is something to be thankful for.
The gift of Providence - I still have a job, whereby, at times I would absolutely abhor my superior, but ultimately, it pays the bills and supports my lifestyle (which isn't that lavish, mind you) and my weekends are off limits for more important activities.
The gift of Time - As much as 24 hours may not seem enough sometimes, I'm glad that I am still able to give my time to do things necessary and spend it on people as well.
The gift of Talent - Even though I don't see it yet others seem to, I guess I've been blessed with the gift of being able to learn things quite fast and having a wide interest in all things related to music, language and the likes. (Funny how I still prefer being in the Science field!)
The gift of a Special Buddy - For those of you who know me well enough will know that I'm unattached, so, don't start getting any ideas. I just want to tell my Buddy that I appreciate our friendship very much, through the rough patches as well as the smooth roads. God couldn't have given me a better friend, that's for sure.
The gift of Life - Need I say more? I am complete in Him, my sins are washed away by His blood, my days couldn't be any brighter, my future is safe in His hands, everything I need will be provided.
I have a few more that I can't seem to be able to put into words, but just in case you see something missing, the gift of Celibacy is not going to be here, at least, I don't think so, but I could be wrong. *grin*
Have a Happy Thanksgiving Day! Many blessings!
Saturday, October 01, 2005
Alone Yet Happy!
Before you start getting any ideas, this is not about being single, unattached or whatnot in a worldly view. It's all about the essence of walking with Jesus on a daily basis, in anything and everything that you do. I would like to think that I'm teachable, therefore, if you find that my thoughts are not completely correct, then, by all means, do let me know.
I still remember my testimony when I first shared it with the congregation upon recommitting my life to Jesus, somewhere in November of 2002. I believe that my testimony was not really from the flesh because I knew I couldn't have thought about that all by myself. I understood, back then, the concept of carrying the Cross. The concept of the journey that awaits every believer.
I remember that one point very clear: Go after Jesus alone. Alone. Gee..... honestly, in the human sense, alone sounds, uhm..... lonely. But I get the point, I really do. In this context, I've realized that my walk with Christ is truly my own journey alone with Christ. I can't have someone else walk down the path He has set for me. It is my journey, my walk, my life. Sounds selfish, but in all accounts, it is. It is an exclusive relationship that one has with our Maker. Each is different, each is important but none is more important than the next, for God loves us each unconditionally.
I was at a low point recently and I deliberately avoided the crowd. Deliberately. Some parts of me may have wanted to 'test waters' and see who would reach out and come get me, but mainly, I needed to be alone, or at least, to know what being alone feels like. It is seriously not too bad. In my standards, the 'test waters' part failed because my expectations were not met, but I was truly comforted in my alone time. How? I was assured, that in the event that people did not come for me, or stopped coming for me, Jesus came and would still come for me, time and time again.
I was alone in my humanness but not alone in my spirit. All in all, I've realized the need to be alone, in the Secret Place, where my heart meets with God and where I am assured that no matter how alone I may feel, it is just a feeling, not a reality, for He is with me; always has and always will be.
Be encouraged, you are never alone. God bless.
I still remember my testimony when I first shared it with the congregation upon recommitting my life to Jesus, somewhere in November of 2002. I believe that my testimony was not really from the flesh because I knew I couldn't have thought about that all by myself. I understood, back then, the concept of carrying the Cross. The concept of the journey that awaits every believer.
I remember that one point very clear: Go after Jesus alone. Alone. Gee..... honestly, in the human sense, alone sounds, uhm..... lonely. But I get the point, I really do. In this context, I've realized that my walk with Christ is truly my own journey alone with Christ. I can't have someone else walk down the path He has set for me. It is my journey, my walk, my life. Sounds selfish, but in all accounts, it is. It is an exclusive relationship that one has with our Maker. Each is different, each is important but none is more important than the next, for God loves us each unconditionally.
I was at a low point recently and I deliberately avoided the crowd. Deliberately. Some parts of me may have wanted to 'test waters' and see who would reach out and come get me, but mainly, I needed to be alone, or at least, to know what being alone feels like. It is seriously not too bad. In my standards, the 'test waters' part failed because my expectations were not met, but I was truly comforted in my alone time. How? I was assured, that in the event that people did not come for me, or stopped coming for me, Jesus came and would still come for me, time and time again.
I was alone in my humanness but not alone in my spirit. All in all, I've realized the need to be alone, in the Secret Place, where my heart meets with God and where I am assured that no matter how alone I may feel, it is just a feeling, not a reality, for He is with me; always has and always will be.
Be encouraged, you are never alone. God bless.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
